


All This I Should've Known

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 00:17:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year cadets clamored for a position and the truth was that most couldn’t cut it.  Emily Prentiss could surely cut it but that didn’t mean she belonged there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All This I Should've Known

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is an AU anything that’s been on Criminal Minds in the past six seasons may show up in this fic. I started this over a year ago because I was secretly watching Grey’s Anatomy and I wanted to do a CM meets Grey’s Anatomy fic so I could make Hotch ‘McDreamy’. Yes, it’s true. But I knew I wasn’t comfortable writing them as doctors and so this scenario was born. Thanks to everyone who listened to me ramble about how epic or ridiculously cracktastic this idea would be.

Paul put another bourbon and beer in front of her. She looked at it and then him.

“I didn’t order anything.” She said.

“It’s courtesy of the guy at the end of the bar.”

Emily looked but didn’t smile. She wasn’t quite in the mood to be available tonight. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Dark hair, nice eyes, and easy on the eyes was usually the way she liked them.

“He's trying to get me drunk so he can take advantage of me.” she mumbled.

“Are you gonna let him?” Paul asked.

“I'm thinking about it.”

Emily held up her shot glass, saluted, and downed her third shot in one gulp. Paul wanted to flag her but they were good friends. He also knew that Emily could handle her liquor and this was nothing.

“Hi.”

She turned to him. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome had a voice like silk. That was a point in his favor. Emily shuddered thinking of that guy who squealed like a pig when they fucked. There was also the one who grunted like Monica Seles at Wimbledon. 

Those were experiences she had no desire to repeat. Yes, they were funny stories to tell her friends. Still, there were much less traumatic and embarrassing ways to get funny stories. When Emily found them she would be much better off.

“Hello.”

“I had a long, bad day.” He said. “Did you have a bad day?”

“I've been having a few of them.” she replied. “You'd think whoever’s up there would give you a break on Sunday…apparently not.”

“It’s probably not in our best interest to drink it off.”

“I stopped doing things that were good for me years ago. Did you know that it causes wrinkles? I saw it on The Discovery Channel…it must be true.”

He laughed some, showing off a very impressive pair of dimples; another point in his favor.

“We could get out of here.” He said. “It might have been a bad day but it doesn’t have to end that way.”

Emily looked at him while she finished her beer. She had no idea why she was pretending that she wasn’t going to fuck him. He was hot. While a woman didn’t want to seem easy, this wasn’t a love connection. This was a one-night romp from a bar. 

It wasn’t as if she wasn’t well acquainted with these scenarios. He was more attractive than her usual prospects and conquests. That didn’t mean this was special. No more special than the night before and the week before that.

“Check please.” She put her empty beer bottle on the bar as Paul tallied up the damage.

“You're not driving?" he asked, handing her a receipt.

“Nope; I'm riding as a matter of fact.”

He smirked and walked away. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome took the receipt, pulled two $20s from his money clip, and paid the bill. _Damn_ , Emily thought, _chivalry might not be dead_. She was going to fuck him anyway…he didn’t have to do that. That was another point in his favor. 

Emily slid off the bar stool and started toward the exit. Over two hours to closing time, the place was still crowded. She looked behind her and saw him checking her out. Emily said a prayer that he wasn’t a serial murderer and that the sex was good. The former she’d been lucky on. The latter, not so much.

***

“This is exactly why I planned everything an hour early.” Jordan said when she walked back into the room. I knew you were going to oversleep.”

She threw the heavy shades open but that was useless. It was a gray, drizzly day in the DC Corridor; surely didn’t look like the last week of June. Jordan looked at Emily, sprawled out face down in her pillow. She knew she should've stopped her from going out last night. It was another classic Prentiss family falling out; Emily walked around pretending she wasn’t hurt. 

She was always hurt when her mother expressed disappointment at what Emily was doing with her life. So many parents would fall over with pride if their children were Ivy League educated, held a Masters degree, and were recruited into the FBI. For Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss, it was a downgrade. She felt law enforcement was beneath her daughter’s education and station. It didn’t matter if it was the best law enforcement agency in the world. What Emily was supposed to do that was more distinguished and could make her mother proud, no one was sure.

“Wake up babe.” Jordan put her hand on Emily’s shoulder. “C'mon, its time to get this day started.”

“I'm up.” Emily mumbled. “I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.”

“You're not up; you haven’t moved. You just…oh my God, look at the size of that hickey!”

“Are you fuckin kidding me?” in one swift movement, Emily was out of bed and rushing over to the mirror. She checked all over her neck and collarbone but didn’t see a thing. She glared at her best friend. “I hate you.”

“You love me. But if you believed me then you must not have been alone last night. You have to get ready but don’t shower. You’ll smell like a speakeasy.”

“I wasn’t alone.” Emily said, leaving the room and going to the bathroom. Jordan followed, leaning on the wall outside the nearly closed door.

“What was his name?” Jordan asked.

“Um…if I say that I don't know then what kind of woman does that make me?”

“Do you not know because you never asked or because he never said?”

“It’s probably a little bit of both.” Emily spoke louder as she turned on the sink. “I think I called him dreamy a few times, but I can't be blamed for that.”

“Why not?” Jordan asked.

“Well I was pretty drunk. I fucked a guy, twice, in the backseat of an SUV with tinted windows. Then he dropped me back at my car. Plus, he was really dreamy…I think. I hope it wasn’t the bourbon goggles.”

“You have plans to see McDreamy again?”

“I don’t even know his name. How do you propose I pull that off?”

“Where did you go last night?”

“Absinthe. And the crazy part is that I don’t go there very much. Paul started bartending there part-time and told me to come down for the half-price drinks.”

“The lush in you couldn’t turn that down.” Jordan said.

“Well what were you doing last night?” Emily countered.

“Jennifer Jareau…but if you tell anyone I’ll kill you. She’s just bi-curious; I figured I’d help her out.”

“She's straight as an arrow, babe, and you know it.”

“Yeah.” Jordan sighed. “But she has these amazing pink nipples; I was ensorcelled. There may have been a nip of Captain Morgan’s involved. I got what I wanted so I'm over it. C'mon, what are you doing in there?”

“Here I come.”

Emily emerged from the bathroom in a pink satin bra and panties. Back in her bedroom, she grabbed the FBI issued black pants and white cotton shirt with the FBI Academy insignia. It wasn’t the height of fashion but that wasn’t what they were there for. This was the first day of the rest of their lives, or at least that’s what they'd been hearing. Emily was ready for this. She had a hell of a hangover but she was still ready.

***

Emily was starving; sure some of that bourbon ate the lining of her stomach. It had been a long morning of orientations and introductions. There were about 750 cadets in the class of 2006. They’d been split into quadrants of 190 cadets. That was far too many people to get to know on the first name basis but Emily already had friends. 

Jordan had been her friend since they met as grad students at American University. She was also well acquainted with Jennifer Jareau, a Georgetown graduate and Eric Cooper, a University of Maryland grad who she knew from partying and who she nearly dated once. Coop applied to the FBI Academy on a dare, passing the tests with flying colors. Emily had never been good with making or keeping friends. These three people had managed not to drive her out of her mind yet.

“There are a lot of beautiful women in this cafeteria.” Coop said, standing behind Emily in line.

“Coop, this is the FBI Academy, not the Dating Game.”

“Anyway, fraternization is against the rules.” JJ said.

“That’s not exactly true.” Jordan grabbed a chicken sandwich on wheat. “What the handbook stipulates is that you carry yourself with the respect befitting an agent at all times. I think there's something in there though that frowns upon subordinates having romantic or sexual relationships with superiors.”

“That means I can't bag Erin Strauss.” Coop asked.

“Eww,” Emily shuddered. “I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. That woman is…”

She stopped mid-sentence. Coop poked her but she didn’t respond. Jordan ran her hand in front of Emily’s face.

“Emily? Hey, Earth to Prentiss? What’s wrong, babe?”

“McDreamy.” She mumbled.

“Oh my God, where?” Jordan almost gave herself whiplash turning around to look.

“He's coming this way with Jason Gideon and…”

“A hunk of milk chocolate goodness.” Jordan finished her sentence. “I've always had a notorious sweet tooth. Your guy is McDreamy all right. Damn.”

“Who is he?” Coop asked.

“The guy Emily met at the bar last night.” Jordan replied.

“Did you have a lengthy discussion on the true definition of carnal knowledge?” he asked grinning.

“It lasted almost two hours.” Emily replied, grabbing a grilled chicken salad. “I had no idea he was in the FBI.”

“Well he definitely puts us average guys to shame.” Coop said. “I hate him already.”

“There's nothing ordinary about McDreamy.” Jordan said smirking.

“Good afternoon, Agent Gideon.” Emily said, causing the veteran agent to stop walking and talking. He knew Emily Prentiss; he picked Emily Prentiss. Gideon smiled at her.

“Cadet Prentiss, how are you handling your first day?”

“I'm ready to get to work, sir.”

“I'm glad to hear it. I plan to put you and your fellow cadets through it. So do Agent Hotchner and Agent Morgan.”

“Hotchner.” Emily barely breathed his name. She noticed that he could hardly look at her. Almost 12 hours ago his fingers were between her thighs and now he wouldn’t meet her gaze. Oh well…men.

“I never back down from a challenge.” Emily put on the affable smile she’d been perfecting all her life. “I look forward to it.”

“Keep that attitude and you'll get through this. Enjoy your lunch.”

“Thank you, Agent Gideon. Good afternoon.”

The three agents walked away, Agent Hotchner managing a small nod as he did.

“We’ve been here one day and Emily’s already broken one of the major rules.” JJ said.

“You go girl.” Jordan smiled.

***

“Hello.”

Emily looked up from her work and saw Aaron Hotchner standing over her. It was late; she’d been at the library for hours. There was no way in hell she would ever be ill prepared for Erin Strauss’ Famous Cases seminar. The woman was Satan in Stuart Weitzman pumps. She reminded her too much of her mother for anything good. If Emily remembered right the women were almost friends. No one was truly friends in that world in which they lived.

“Hi.” She went back to reading the Patty Hearst case. It was one that everyone thought they knew but there was so much in the file that Emily never heard before. Strauss wouldn’t catch her off guard. She planned to know everything.

“Do you mind if I sit?” he asked.

Emily nodded. Agent Hotchner, she still didn’t know his first name, sat across from her and leaned close to whisper.

“About the other night…”

“Lets not and say we did, OK?” she held up her hand. “It was just a one-night stand; I don’t want to beat a dead horse. We’re both grownups and can conduct ourselves as such. At least I hope we can.”

“I had no idea you were a cadet.” He said.

“Well I didn’t know your first name so that makes us even.”

“That doesn’t feel even to me. I just never…I'm not the type who…”

“You don’t pick up strange women in bars, right?” Emily asked. “You're the sweet, shy, quiet type but your friends have been telling you to live a little. Am I close?”

“Honestly I…”

“Agent Hotchner, I really have a lot of work to do. 850 hours of instruction and physical training is primed and ready to kick my ass. I'm not going to have the time or energy to ease your mind about a drunken romp. I'm surely not trying to be rude, but…”

“I couldn’t tell.” He replied. “That sounded rather rude to me.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Agent Hotchner. If you did then you'd know my rudeness cuts much deeper.”

Emily went back to her files as if the conversation was over. For this place to be so advanced most of this stuff wasn’t on computer yet…most likely so it couldn’t be hacked. By the time she graduated from the Academy she’d probably have so many paper cuts she’d need a blood transfusion. After a few minutes of silence, he sighed and pushed back from the table.

“My first name is Aaron.” he said, turning and walking away.

Emily watched his ridiculously straight posture and rolled her eyes. That man was off limits; he was so off limits. She wasn’t sure if it was the good sex or his nice ass that made it almost impossible to get Aaron Hotchner off of her mind. Forbidden fruit had always been Emily’s favorite. It couldn’t be the sex though. 

It was good, particularly for the back seat of a car, but there was plenty of cock in the sea. DC was filled with men trying to fuck her. Right now Emily Prentiss didn’t have time for any of them. The only thing that should be on her mind, whether she liked it or not, was Erin Strauss and Patty Hearst. Nothing else mattered at the moment.

***

“Bad girl, drunk by six.” Emily and Jordan sang as they finished their martinis. “Kissing someone else’s lips. Smoked too many cigarettes today. I'm not happy when I act this way.”

“I'm just going to drink until I get happy.” Emily added.

“Did you see her today?” Coop asked. “I think she was giving me the eye while discussing the Symbionese Liberation Army. The woman looks good in lavender…goddamn.”

“You're a sick and twisted individual.” Jordan replied laughing. “The only person she was giving the eye to was Prentiss, and it was the evil eye.”

“Do you think fucking her will loosen her up any, Coop?” Emily asked, holding up her and Jordan’s empty glasses. The barmaid nodded acknowledgement. “She has it out for me.”

“How could that be?” Sam Kassmeyer asked. He was Coop’s roommate, a Boston University grad from a small New England town. Coop asked him to come out tonight with them to blow off some steam. “She doesn’t even know you, Emily.”

“She knows my mother.” Emily mumbled.

“Shit.” Jordan shook her head. “Liddy’s reach is everywhere. Ambassador Prentiss strikes again.”

“Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss is your mother?” Sam’s blue eyes were wide. “I saw her speak at…”

“Dude,” Coop did a slashing motion with his hand. “Don’t. Just don’t go there right now.”

“What?” Sam looked at him.

“You want to stay friends with Emily, don’t go there.”

“Oh. I'm sorry.”

“It’s OK, Sam,” Emily took her fresh Cosmo from the barmaid. “You didn’t know. Everyone will know eventually; it has this way of always getting around. It’s very similar to the bubonic plague or the clap. I wouldn’t be shocked if that witch spreads it herself. Strauss wants to make an example of the princess…been there, done that.”

“She also has the tee shirt, shot glass, and key chain.” Jordan said.

“Amen sister.” Emily touched her glass to her best friend’s and started drinking.

“What are you going to do about it?” Sam asked.

“I thought about pulling a _Teaching Mrs. Tingle_ , but that could end in jail time for all those involved. I'm just gonna have to straighten my back and hold my head high like I always do. Yes, I'm from an influential family. But I've never once used their name to get me anywhere. It doesn't matter how loud I say it, no one believes me. So I have to just be the best Emily I can be and the rest be damned.”

“Fuck her.” Jordan said.

“That’s what I'm saying.” Coop said. “Just give me a few weeks…I have a plan. I have a virtually foolproof plan.”

“Do you think he’ll ever give this up?” Sam asked laughing.

“Coop needs something to get him through the next 19 weeks of torture.” Emily replied. “Let the boy scheme and dream.”

They were laughing when Emily saw Jason Gideon and Aaron Hotchner come through the door. What were they doing there? Mickey’s was a hole in the wall bar that had been in DC for years. Emily discovered it during her senior year of high school when she was living in the DC suburbs with her father and stepmother. 

It had everything she loved in a neighborhood bar. There was a working jukebox, a friendly owner who was on the first name basis with everyone, and it was never more than three-quarters full. There was no TV, no politics, no BS…it was just a bar. Of all the bars in the entire District, they really had to walk into hers.

“McDreamy alert.” Coop gave Emily the look.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Emily asked when he caught sight of her. He seemed to look right through her while she pretended her martini was the most interesting thing on earth.

“This seems like the kind of place Jason Gideon would be at home in.” Sam said. “He's not the Dave Rossi type.”

“Oh my God, so the rumors are true?” Jordan asked.

“What rumors?” Emily asked. “What the hell did I miss?” she flagged the barmaid, ordering a bourbon with a beer back for agent Hotchner.

“Dave Rossi has a permanent booth over at the Das Kapital. I hear he goes there most evenings and regales rookies and cadets with tales of his glory days in the BAU.” Sam said. “He regales mostly female rookies and cadets.”

“What's so wrong with that?” Emily asked.

“Nothing really,” Jordan replied. “Unless he uses his status to get laid.”

“Who wouldn’t?” Coop asked.

“I was gonna say that makes him no different from any man in this town.” Emily said. 

“Well using it to get cadet and rookie ass, as Jordan so lovingly called it,” Sam said. “That’s against the rules.”

“Guys like Dave Rossi never follow rules.” Emily said. “What's the fun in that? Das Kapital is a poseur bar anyway. It’s one-stop shopping for the one-night stand.”

“He's officially retired from the FBI fieldwork.” Sam replied. “He teaches at the Academy between book tours. Perhaps he feels the rules don’t apply to him.”

“He’d probably think that anyway.” Jordan said smirking.

“How do you know Das Kapital is a poseur bar?” Sam asked. “Do you know every bar in the city?”

“As a matter of fact, Sam, yes I do.” Emily nodded.

The barmaid came back with a card and handed it to Emily. She looked at it, showing no expression as she read the words. ‘ _We started off on the wrong foot. I’d like to start again. Aaron_.’ 

“What does it say?” Coop asked.

“Hey, allow a woman some privacy, Cadet.”

000

“What's that about?” Jason asked.

“Nothing.” Hotch shook his head.

“How long have you known each other?”

“Who?”

“You and Cadet Prentiss?” Jason asked.

“I didn’t know when we met that she was a cadet.” Hotch admitted. “We met in a bar the night before orientation began. I bought her a drink and we just chatted. But I think our next encounter in the cafeteria shocked us both.”

“Hmm.” Gideon sipped his Glenfiddich, not believing a word Hotch said. “She’ll go far in the Bureau; she has the talent. There will be plenty of obstacles as well.”

“Because she's a woman?” Hotch threw back the bourbon and savored the beer.

“No. It’s because of her pedigree. Emily Prentiss is the child of high powered diplomats with deep political roots and connections. Every success she's had, most people in the room think it’s because of Gregory and Elizabeth. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Emily’s an overachiever.”

“What do you think?” Hotch asked.

“I think she’s brilliant, troubled, and a troublemaker. A mentor would be to her advantage.”

“Do you think I should…?”

“That’s not what I'm saying, Aaron.” Jason shook his head. “It shouldn’t be you but it should be someone.”

Hotch nodded, sipping his beer. Prentiss and her friends were sitting behind him so he couldn’t turn around to look at them. He could hear them talking, laughing; probably about them. Week one at the FBI Academy was over and done with. There were nineteen more to go.

***

“You want to stretch now?” Sam asked. He couldn’t help but notice the belly bar in her navel as she stretched her arms high above her head. “I thought we would run back to the dorms.”

“I just ran five miles, Kassmeyer. I am so done for the day. I've ran more in this past month than I probably have in my entire life. I'm gonna head over to the range and take out some of my Strauss frustration on a target or five.”

“You're not gonna shower first?” Sam asked.

“Why, so I can break into a sweat all over again?” Emily grabbed her foot and stretched her leg. “I have a stick of deodorant in my backpack in case I'm too rancid.”

“You smell OK to me.”

“Of course I smell OK to you.” Emily nudged him and they both smiled. “You might smell like a water buffalo.”

“Wow, harsh.”

“How's your gun training going?”

“I'm fine.” Sam said. “Coop and I are going over to the range tomorrow after the Cyber Crimes seminar with Elle Greenaway and her roommate. I need to work on my push-ups too…I have weak arms.”

“What?” Emily asked, laughing. “That’s the silliest thing I've ever heard.”

“I had the lowest amount in my group this morning. The agent in charge didn’t even bother with encouraging words. He told me to work on it.”

“I’ll sit on your back…we can do it Vietnam style.”

“As nice as that sounds, I'm going to decline for the time being.”

“Suit yourself.”

Emily shrugged as she rustled around in her backpack. She came out with a stick of Secret deodorant. Adding some to her underarms, Emily dropped it back in the bag.

“Be careful walking to the range alone.” Sam said. “It’s getting dark.”

“You’ve obviously never seen me in Defense class. I'm awesome and have a lot of frustration to release.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam smiled. “Be careful anyway.”

“I will. See you later, Sam.”

“Bye.”

Emily started walking toward the range. It was getting dark but there were still plenty of cadets and agents around. Quantico was always busy; it never closed. Emily didn’t feel unsafe there but knew how to handle herself if something went wrong. She got to the indoor range and showed her ID to the agent at the desk. 

She was given a Glock .45 to practice with and some earplugs. Emily liked the corner booth so even though the place was all but deserted, she picked her favorite booth. Pushing the button for the target to come down, Emily started shooting. She emptied the clip and then moved the target forward.

“Damn.” She mumbled, looking at the missed shots.

“You keep dropping your shoulder.”

Emily let out a little scream that sent the agent coming from the back. She smiled, embarrassed for being scared and screaming.

“I'm OK.” She told him. “Agent Gideon, I'm sure your mother told you it’s not nice to sneak up on people.”

“She did, and I apologize Cadet.”

“Please don’t call me Cadet, sir.”

“I won't call you Cadet if you don’t call me, sir. Gideon is fine.”

“Yes, sir…Gideon.”

“Would you like a little help with your shooting?” Jason asked.

“I'm alright, thanks.”

“There's nothing wrong with asking for help.” 

“I wasn’t asking for help.”

“I know that.” Jason replied. “I was asking you if you think you need it.”

“I don’t think I was dropping my shoulder.” She said.

“It’s a reflex, a nuance. Sometimes, right before pulling the trigger; a lot of people do it. You’ll still hit the target but you're not going to hit where you want to. I did it for years until I let someone show me how to overcome it.”

“I love these kinds of uplifting stories.” Emily said.

“You’re a smartass.” Jason shook his head.

“That’s a reflex as well.”

“I believe you. Even dropping your shoulder you’re going to pass the gun test. But Unsubs move when the bullets are flying.”

“Unsubs?” Emily raised her eyebrow. 

“It’s short for unknown subjects. Cops have perps; the FBI has Unsubs. At least the BAU does.”

“I like it…kinda sounds like a British modern rock band.”

“OK.” Gideon almost smiled again.

“Show me.” Emily said, turning her back to him as she said it.

Jason walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. He told her to relax; she was too stiff with the gun. 

“Let it become part of you. There’s nothing wrong with coming to the range an hour a day, everyday. For some handling a firearm is never comfortable. For others it can be like second nature.”

“Which some am I, Gideon?” Emily asked.

“I think you're second nature.” He said. “Now take a few deep breaths.”

Emily did what she was told. She filled her clip again and pushed the button for the target to come down. Closing her eyes and opening them again, Emily started shooting. She looked at the target.

“That’s a little better.” Jason said.

“So I didn’t drop my shoulder?”

“You did a little. Practice makes perfect.”

“There are those who think I like to be perfect.” Emily turned around; surprised Jason was still so close. He backed up.

“There is no such thing as perfection.”

“Tell that to Agent Strauss.” 

“Ahh, yes, Erin Strauss can be taxing but she's also one of the best. She got her ass kicked in the Academy too. She likes to return the favor in spades. You're going to get through her class.”

“Hopefully.”

“Don’t ever let her tell you that you don’t have it. You have it, Emily Prentiss. I believe in you and I support you.”

“Enough to let me train with the BAU.”

Jason didn’t expect to hear that. The BAU was an elite team; there were very few spots open. Every year cadets clamored for a position and the truth was that most couldn’t cut it. Emily Prentiss could surely cut it but that didn’t mean she belonged there. One had to be extraordinary to go in straight from the Academy. Jason needed to see more before he made that assessment.

“Emily, focus on the Academy.” He said. “This is week four…there is much more training to come.”

“I know what I want.” She said.

“And I respect that. But right now your focus needs to be on learning, not what happens after graduation. We’ll talk again; my door is always open.”

“OK.” She nodded. “Thanks for the shoulder thing.”

“Anytime.”

Jason moved two booths over and started his own practice. It surprised Emily, he’d been in the FBI forever and he was still here in the range. Of course he might have been letting off some steam just like she was. No matter how trained you were, the people around you could still drive you out of your mind.

***

“Am I boring you, Cadet Prentiss?”

“I'm sorry, ma'am?” Emily tried to bite back her yawn but it was no use. She was really hoping it would go unnoticed. No such luck.

“I asked was I boring you. Clearly you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“No ma'am, I…”

“Well you must know everything there is to know about the crime, arrest, and acquittal of Bernhard Goetz.” Erin Strauss came around the large table in the front of the classroom. “You must know so much that you’re fully prepared to write a ten thousand word rebuttal convicting him and the reasons why it should be done.”

“Agent Strauss, I…”

“I know this isn’t what you're used to Cadet. Here we don’t serve champagne, sail on yachts, and eat amongst princes. Here we work for what we have.”

“I am working ma'am; and I don’t appreciate…”

“You don't appreciate? Here’s what I don’t appreciate Cadet Prentiss. I don’t appreciate princesses who come into my seminars and think they can yawn while I lecture. I don’t appreciate girls who think they can rest on the laurels of their mommies and daddies who probably rested on the laurels of theirs. 

“You want something around here, you earn it. You sweat, you struggle, you hurt, and you damn well don’t yawn when someone with more experience than you will ever have under your belt is trying to educate you. I don’t know how they do it in your Ivy League but that’s how we do it at the FBI Academy. Do I make myself clear Cadet?”

“Crystal.” Emily muttered.

“Crystal what, Cadet Prentiss?”

“Crystal Ma'am.”

Jill Norris smirked and Emily wanted to smack that ass kissing bitch right in her mouth. She looked over at Jordan, who was sitting with JJ and her best friend sympathized. Erin Strauss went to go around the table again when Emily’s mouth opened. _No_ , she begged her brain, _don’t do it. You will never survive…just keep your mouth shut_.

“Ma'am, maybe I'm mistaken but aren’t you a Barnard graduate? Isn’t your father a former British diplomat who was then a tenured professor at a Columbia University? I would think you of all people…”

“Get out my classroom.” Erin pointed to the door. “Get out of my classroom and when you return next week I want that paper in full or you'll be facing disciplinary action.”

“I've done nothing.” Emily stood. “I've done nothing but what everyone else in this class has done. It’s unfair to target me because I yawned. Or is this about something else entirely?”

“Get out Cadet Prentiss!” 

Emily sighed, grabbing up her notebooks. She walked down the steps of the lecture hall and out the door. It took everything several cadets had not to clap as she left. They called Strauss the Queen Bitch of Quantico. Every year she would pick a cadet or two to make mince meat out of. Some said she later ended up favoring those cadets if they made it through the storm. 

But there were also some who got her wrath because she didn’t deem them good enough. She was doing what someone else did to her. It was wrong and it sucked. It looked like Emily Prentiss was going to be that unfortunate cadet. At the end of 850 hours there might only be one of them standing. Those in the know, even if they didn’t want to, were putting their money on Strauss.

***

“You're distracting me.”

“I thought I was helping.”

“You smell too good to be helping.” Emily replied. “I should've stayed at the library.”

“There aren’t any comfortable chairs there.” Hotch handed her a beer and then sat down on his couch. 

Emily was sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table hammering away at a laptop. She was surrounded by books and paper. If he wanted to really distract her, and he did, Hotch would just close the computer and have his way with her. That wasn’t going to happen.

“They make it that way so that people actually get work done. Thanks though.”

“For what?”

“You used your considerable power and influence to check out these documents for me.” she said.

Hotch leaned down to whisper in her ear. He nearly moaned when the scent of her powdery perfume filled his senses. “Actually, I used Jason Gideon’s power and influence. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Your secret is safe with me, Agent Hotchner.” Emily smiled as she drank her beer. “I just want to kick Strauss’ ass. She’s doing this to me on purpose and it’s not fair. 

“It’s not fair that she can embarrass me in front of a whole room of cadets on the basis of nothing. I just had to sit there and take it. It’s like Thanksgiving in the Prentiss house all over again. Thanksgiving every fucking day. Just kill me now.”

“You'll get the best of her.” Hotch said.

“And how do you suppose I do that?” she turned to look at him. “Ooh, tell me which car in the lot is hers. I've got a set of keys itching to be used for some nefarious purpose.”

“I don’t think I'm going to do that. I meant you'll get the best of her by graduating.”

“And I'm going to graduate first in my class.” Emily said.

“That’s a lofty goal, Cadet.”

“I'm a lofty woman.”

“No comment.” Hotch smiled, shaking his head as his dimples came out to play.

“I have about 6,000 words.” Emily hit save and pulled herself up on the couch. “I need to stop for the night. If I read one more thing about Bernie Goetz I'm gonna shoot someone. I can't believe that creep got away with what he did.”

“Do you really want to spend the evening pontificating on a 20 year old case?”

“I would have a good time doing so but I'm not opposed to another idea if you have one.”

He kissed her. He couldn’t think of anything else to do and he didn’t want to do anything else. Kissing her made him feel as if he was walking on air. It was wrong; Hotch knew that the last thing he needed to be doing was fraternizing with a cadet. 

He surely didn’t need to catch feelings for her or go to bed with her. Yet he couldn’t stop. She was a drug and he was an addict. How could that happen in one night? One drunken night when Aaron Hotchner ended up in some bar he’d never gone to and usually never would. 

“You're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble.” Emily mumbled between kisses as her hands found the button and fly of his Levis. 

“Too late.” Her track pants and panties came down her legs together. Hotch threw them both onto the carpet. She took off her ratty Echo and the Bunnymen tee shirt herself.

He unsnapped her bra from the front, kissing and squeezing her breasts. The silver hoop in Emily’s left nipple might be the death of him. The way she arched her back when he sucked it made Hotch crazy. She only did it more when his hand slipped between her thighs. He wanted to make love; feel her grip his hips. 

But Hotch was hungry. He was ravenous for her and he didn’t care tonight if it got rough. She didn’t seem to care either. They wanted each other…they had since that first night in the bar.

“I should probably have something.” He mumbled as he thrust inside of her without a condom.

“As long as you don’t have the clap I don’t care.” Emily replied. “I'm on birth control so…”

“Emily there are other things to worry about.”

“Oh shit, you don’t have herpes do you? I will totally kick your ass if you give me herpes.”

“Shut up.” He was trying not to laugh and come too quickly. He kissed her to keep her quiet, which she didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Ohhh, mmm damn Aaron.”

There was something about the way she said his first name. It was as if no one had ever said it before. No one had ever grabbed his back or bit his shoulder or squeezed his ass until she had. This was crazy, it was stupid and crazy. But Hotch couldn’t help himself.

“Oh God, ohhh Emily, oh God.”

“Make me come; make me come dammit!”

If she wanted it then he planned to give it to her. He stroked her clit, loving the way her body shivered when he did. Her eyes were closed but he could see them moving beneath her eyelids.

“Open your eyes.” he whispered.

When she did, he was smiling above her. OK, the sex was really good. Dammit, she did not have time for this. Emily Prentiss didn’t have time to let a man get in her way. But Aaron Hotchner wasn’t just any man was he? He was gorgeous; that went without saying. 

But he was more than that. He was more than a pretty face. Emily had her share of pretty faces over the years. She’d also had her share of sex. She didn’t remember any of them helping her with what might be the most important paper of her life. She didn’t remember any of them looking at her and there being more than predatory lust in their eyes.

“You're beautiful.”

“I hate you.” she kissed him. “I hate you a lot.”

Emily wanted to say more, admonish him, but her climax shut her up. It made her whimper, gripping him tight as it moved through her like a freight train and crashed into Hotch. He couldn’t help but let it pull him under and Hotch was coming too, moaning her name as he filled her. Then there was silence. Emily could hear the thumping of their twin heartbeats. She heard the rain outside the window of his rather unattractive two-bedroom walkup. She felt his lips on her neck and collarbone.

“Swear to me that you don’t have herpes.”

“I want you to stay tonight.”

“You know I can't do that.” she took his face in his hands.

“I didn’t say you must, I just said I wanted you to.”

“I think you like me.” 

“You're alright, Cadet.” Hotch grinned.

“Damn straight I am.”

Hotch climbed off of her and began to dress. He was mesmerized as Emily just lounged on his couch without a stitch of clothing. She didn’t seem to be bothered by her nudity. Hotch knew it suited him just fine.

“Can you hand me my purse?” she asked.

He gave her the small designer bag and watched as she pulled a sterling silver cigarette case and lighter from it.

“Do you mind terribly?”

Hotch went over to the window and opened it. Then he looked at her.

“Is that your answer?”

“Smoking is bad for you.” he said.

“I think the FBI Academy is bad for me too. Here I am.”

“Why?” Hotch sat on the window sill.

“Why?” Emily took a deep inhale of the clove, relaxing more into the slightly comfortable couch. There was nothing like a clove after sex. She grabbed her beer and had some of that as well.

“Why are you in the Academy?”

“I've always wanted to be in the FBI. OK, not true…I wanted to be a CIA double agent but that was when I was just a little girl. I always imagined I’d be one of those sexy Cold War spies that the Russians thought worked for them but I was really giving all their secrets to the Americans. It would be something out of James Bond except starring me and not Roger Moore.”

“That didn’t work out?”

“My Russian sucks.” Emily laughed. “Languages are my thing, Aaron. But that damn language was nearly the death of me. Here I conquered Arabic but couldn’t handle Russian. Conversationally, I'm great; drunk I'm even better. But I'm not CIA Mata Hari material.”

“I guess it’s lucky for you the Cold War ended.” He said with a smile.

“All my life, for one reason or another, people have called me lucky. I fuckin hate it. You’re the first person who ever said it and made me think it could be true.”

***

“You alright, Cadet?” Morgan asked, reaching out a hand to help Jordan up from the mat.

“If you like it I love it, Agent.” 

She took his hand, pulling him down and flipping him over. The whole cadet squad cheered as Morgan hit the mat hard. He smiled, sitting up and rubbing his back.

“I thought the game was over.” He said as he stood.

“Out there in the field it ain't over till it’s over.”

“Damn straight. You don’t stop until your opponent is down and apprehended. Good job, Cadet.”

Jordan smiled and curtsied. She went back over to the group, giving Emily a high five.

“Kassmeyer, lets go…”

000

“I feel like shit.” Sam grumbled over his cheeseburger and fries.

“You did well in there.” JJ said, trying to cheer him up.

“Agent Morgan did better.”

“Well c'mon Sam, he's been in the Bureau for years. He's had a lot more training than you.” Emily said. “Not to mention that he's built like the Great Wall of China.”

“First the pushups and now this.” He said. “What if I'm not cut out for the Bureau?”

“Bullshit.” Coop drank his cranapple juice. “You're gonna be a damn good agent Sam. It’s about more than muscles and you know it. 

“Firstly, your brain soaks up all this stuff they're teaching us. You're like some kind of sponge. Plus you're a good dude; empathetic and kind. You’re not Billy Badass but I betcha when it comes down to the clutch you'd kick a dude’s ass. New Hampshire in the house.”

He raised his hand and though Sam was still a little miserable, he slapped it. Then he went back to his food.

“Does anyone want to go out tonight?” JJ asked.

“I'm in.” Jordan raised her hand. “What about you, Em?”

“I wish. I have to catch up on my reading for Agent Gideon’s class. I sure as hell can't impress him if I don’t know what the hell is going on. I've fallen a little behind. Since Strauss had me writing the paper from hell I wasn’t able to read my other assignments. Then I had the mid-level firearms test. I needed to be in the range practically everyday. I…”

“Have been having a McAffair with McDreamy.” Coop said smirking.

“I wasn’t gonna say that.” Emily punched him.

“Ow, damn! You hit hard for a girl.”

“I hit hard period. Don’t you forget it either.”

“I won't.” Coop rubbed his arm.

“Hey, hey, hey.”

Elle Greenaway and Jessie Brooks came to join them at their table. Emily noticed Sam’s attitude perked up as soon as the bubbly blonde was in his sights. Elle had her sights trained right on Jordan as always. That put JJ immediately on guard. For someone who was bi-curious she was all about staking her claim. Emily could admit that a catfight between the two women would be worth the price of admission. Knowing her best friend as well as she did, Jordan wouldn’t mind letting them Jell-O wrestle for her affections.

“You going out tonight?” Elle asked.

“Yeah.” Jordan nodded. “You guys have plans?”

“Nope. I’ll piggyback if you don’t mind.”

“Uh uh, I don’t mind a piggyback ride every once in a while. They’re always fun.”

“You did a good job in defense class today Sam.” Jessie said.

“Actually I sucked, but it’s nice of you to say.”

“Jessie, tell him he’s going to be fine.” Coop said. “He doesn’t seem to be listening to me at the moment.”

“Kassmeyer, you're in the Top 5 right now.” Elle said. “Quit your whining.”

“Ahh yes; eloquent as always Elle.” He managed a smile.

“Eloquent is my middle name. Hey, I heard a rumor there’s going to be a cocktail party sometime in the next few weeks.”

“A cocktail party?” Emily asked. “Where?”

“Here. It’s going to be similar to the huge barbecue on the Quad for Independence Day. This time there’ll be a dress code and surely nicer stemware than red plastic cups. The cadets can hobnob with agents and surely try to slither their way into coveted spots. I heard David Rossi’s gonna be in attendance so its sure to be a good time.”

“I heard David Rossi and Erin Strauss are married.” JJ said. “Some cadets were whispering about it outside the bathroom.”

“Bite your tongue.” Coop looked at her with wide eyes.

“Whoa, what?” Jordan almost fell off the Formica bench. “You heard what? Where did you hear that? You’ve been holding out on me Jareau. What's that about?”

“Bullshit.” JJ said, the usual joviality leaving her blue eyes. She stood up. “You’ve been holding out on me. I gotta go…I’ll see you guys later.”

“Someone has a little PMS.” Elle mumbled when JJ walked away.

“I usually like her,” Emily said. “But I hate her right now for leaving after saying something that huge.”

“My girlfriend is not married.” Coop said. “My girlfriend is not married to that dude.”

“Your girlfriend isn’t your girlfriend.” Sam replied.

“You're killing me Smalls.” Coop rolled his eyes. “I thought we were stronger than that. Why do you choose to hurt me like you do?”

“Yeah.” Sam smirked. He looked at Jessie. “Do you wanna get together later to read? We can go to the library.”

“Sure.” she smiled.

“You can have the room.” Elle said. “I have plans.”

“Oh um…” Sam tried hard but couldn’t help but blush.

“Kassmeyer are you…ow! Dammit Prentiss!”

“Don’t you dare embarrass him.” Emily whispered.

“I won't do anything inappropriate if you promise to never put your damn hands on me like that again.”

“Deal, especially since I know you can't do it. By the way, that was my foot not my hands. It was my hands earlier.”

“You get off on abusing people. You're gonna be a damn good agent when this shit is done.”

“I love you for that Coop.”

***

“You run funny.”

Gideon turned to his right, saw Emily Prentiss running alongside him, and smirked.

“Even if I didn’t recognize your voice I would've still known it was you. Yes, Cadet Prentiss, I run funny. It’s an old knee injury that I've had since my early days in the Bureau. I had surgery and therapy for it but it never healed correctly.”

“Its kind of adorable, if you really want to know.” Emily said.

“You like pushing it, don’t you?”

“How can you tell?” she smiled.

“Did you finish the paper for Agent Strauss’ lecture next week?”

“You heard about that too?”

“Everyone heard about it, Cadet. Despite its size, the Academy is quite small. This is especially when it comes to what people deem juicy gossip. I don’t follow that sort of thing but it always has a way of getting back to me.”

“I often can't figure out if I'm stuck in high school or a soap opera.” Emily rolled her eyes. “I finished the paper…I kicked the paper’s ass. It’s as close as I can come to kicking hers.”

“Erin Strauss is one of the best agents in the Bureau. She can be a total pain in the ass, I won't deny that, but you can learn a lot from her.”

“I was trying to do that when she decided to make me her target.”

“Everything happens for a reason.” Jason said.

“Whose side are you on?” Emily glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

“We’re taking sides now? I wasn’t aware of that.”

“I'm usually not so petty but…yes. If not taking sides you at least have to place a bet. It’s me or her, Gideon. Be truthful; I don’t mind.”

“If you want to beat Erin at whatever tug of war that you two are engaged in, I don’t think the answer is to pull harder.”

“If I don’t, she’ll pull me to the ground. This thing started for absolutely no reason.” Emily replied. “And no, I don’t think yawning in class is good enough reason. What if she intends to crush me no matter how well I do? How would I even be able to fight that? Why should I put up with that?”

“Be that as it may…”

“I really hate that saying.”

“I'm not trying to change you, Emily. It’s a waste of time. I also like you just as you are. But if you get into a fight with Erin Strauss you will probably lose.”

“But we have to defend ourselves, Gideon. I'm not going to let her just beat up on me. I've had enough of that shit to last a lifetime.”

“I know.” Gideon’s nod was solemn. “Just do the best work that you can. Agent Strauss is not the only instructor here. I know you're capable of graduating at the top of your class. I won't blow up your head, that’s the last thing you need. But you know your abilities and your drive. Erin sees it as well. She’s going to push you.”

“So she's the misunderstood woman in a man’s world?” Emily asked, hardly able to hold back her dripping sarcasm. “Silly me, I had her pegged as the closet misogynist who doesn’t want the younger bitches in the tighter shirts attempting feats she’s already accomplished with fewer accessories.”

“Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?” Jason asked.

“I do my best never to talk to my mother.”

“I hope you're being facetious.”

“Somewhat.” Emily lied. The last thing she needed was to talk about her mother right night. She knew she was being profiled; it was second nature with Gideon. Emily didn’t need that on the assessment. “No matter what happens I will graduate from the Academy and join the FBI. It’s my dream and I’ll accomplish it. Then I’ll defy all the odds and get a spot in the BAU because you see my potential.”

“Never let it be said that Emily Prentiss doesn’t dream big and aim high. Don’t let anything, or anyone, take that away from you.”

“I’ll keep an eye on Strauss.”

“I wasn’t just talking about her.” Jason said. “Sometimes poison comes in pretty pill boxes.”

“What do you mean?” Emily looked at him.

“You're brilliant, Katya…you know what I mean.”

“There's that name again. Giving me a pet name might be seen as unprofessional, Agent Gideon.”

Not that she was going to complain; Emily loved it. No one had ever bothered to give her a pet name before. There were the men who called her whatever sweet name they could come up with while getting their jollies but Emily knew that did not count. Her father called her sweetheart but fathers were supposed to do that. 

“While I'm surely not above reproach,” Jason said. “I can't help the pet name. It fits you. But I’ll stop if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Very little makes me uncomfortable. I need to run faster though.”

“Go, and remember what I said.”

“You said a lot.” Emily said.

“Remember it all, please.”

“I’ll do my best. Oh, and you're going to be at this cocktail thing, right? I heard a rumor you're one hell of a dancer…I want to take you out on the floor.”

“I’ll be there. We’ll all be there, including Agent Strauss.”

“Don’t ruin my thoughts of having a good time.” she held up her hand to wave. “See ya later alligator.”

“After awhile, crocodile.” Jason smiled watching her run away.

***

“You're screwed if you get caught here.” She whispered.

“I've already been screwed and it was nice, thank you very much.”

“Well this won't be nice. It’ll be like ass sex with no lube.”

“Um…I can't say I know how un-nice that is.”

“You will if you get caught here.”

“Stop talking.” Hotch smiled as he lay Emily on her back and just looked at her. 

Damn, she was beautiful. He was wrong, this was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted her. Aaron Hotchner was smitten, and when you felt that way the consequences be damned. 

They weren't just consequences for him though. She could be kicked out if anyone even suspected something improper. With Erin Strauss out for blood it was in Emily Prentiss’ best interest more than his to stay away. It was hard to think of best interests when they made love the way they made love.

“Make me.”

She pulled him into a passionate kiss. Emily didn’t want to have feelings for him but it was kind of late for that. Feelings were something she normally had control over, or could pretend to. It was something else altogether with Aaron Hotchner. She’d been attracted to him since that night in the bar, and the sex was amazing. 

But there was something more. Emily couldn’t put on her finger on it. She was scared to anyway. The last thing she needed was someone getting in the way of her goals. Their relationship was a big no-no and usually that was a serious turn on. 

Now she knew the consequences weren't worth the risk. The truth was that she couldn’t have Aaron Hotchner and the Academy. It was just the wrong time. She’d told him to go away a million times in her head. The words had yet to come out of her mouth.

“I want to stay the night.” He whispered against her lips. “I need to stay the night. It’s pouring outside. No one will know I'm here.”

“I have a roommate.” Emily replied. “If she comes home to find McDreamy coming out of her bathroom in my pink towel…you're never living that down.”

“McDreamy?” Hotch raised an eyebrow.

“That’s a long story.”

“We’ve got all night.”

“Oh no, I need to get some sleep. I've got exercises up the wazoo in the morning and then Cyber Crimes for three hours. Yay!”

“So we’ll sleep?”

“What time is it?” Emily asked.

“It’s nearly midnight.”

“Then hell yes we’ll sleep. I have to be up no later than seven.”

“And I can stay?” Hotch asked.

“Stop talking.” She turned around and spooned with him. Emily knew if she kept looking at him sleep would be the last thing on her mind. As it was she was already contemplating getting up early for a quickie. “I don’t like how easy it is to sleep in your arms.” Emily sighed as Hotch wrapped his arm around her and she took his hand.

“That’s not a compliment is it?”

“No.” 

“It still made me feel good.” He said.

“I'm glad I could help.”

“Help me some more…tell me about McDreamy.”

“Go to sleep, Hotch.” she laughed.

“I'm going to get it out of you one of these days.”

“It won't be today. Lets make a deal; I’ll tell you when I graduate.”

“It’s a deal. Goodnight, Emily Prentiss.”

“Goodnight.”

***

“Do you see how sexy my girl looks tonight?”

Emily smirked as Coop came up on her left side sipping a beer. Then she smiled at Sam as he came up on her right and handed her a martini.

“You know that I can't look directly in her face, Coop. I have no interest in turning to stone.”

Sam laughed, covering his mouth. Coop cut his eyes at her.

“I have to admit that she looks quite beautiful tonight.” Sam said.

Sighing, Emily looked at her. Erin Strauss did look good tonight. Everyday at the Academy, and surely at the BAU, she looked smart and sophisticated in designer clothes and expensive heels. Tonight she looked beautiful. She wore a dark blue cocktail dress that brushed her knees. It had three quarter length sleeves and showed plenty of skin without being trashy. With nude hose and blue heels to complete the outfit, Emily definitely approved. Her blonde hair was pinned up and she wore diamond drop earrings. A gold necklace with a diamond encrusted E was around her exposed neck.

“I think that’s Marc Jacobs.” Emily told her male companions.

“I bet it zips in the back.” Coop said grinning. “That means it also unzips in the back. Damn, she's like the naughty society matron.”

“You're such a dirty bastard.”

“I've always had a thing for older women.” Coop replied. “Shirley Jones was my first, watching reruns of _The Partridge Family_ as a kid. Then Ms. Dexter, my seventh grade teacher…holy moly.”

“You're a really strange individual.” Sam said.

“Thank you.” Emily nodded. “I'm so glad that someone else finally sees what I see.”

They watched as David Rossi walked over to Strauss. He handed her a drink and they chatted amiably. Even from a distance Emily could see when the chatting stopped and the flirty banter began.

“Son of a bitch.” Coop muttered as he watched Strauss try not to smile.

“I wonder if there's any validity to that marriage thing that JJ was talking about a couple of weeks back.” Emily said. “She said it was just a rumor…everything is a rumor here.”

“Well I've always wanted to meet the great David Rossi.” Sam said. “Lets go and find out.”

“Eww, I don’t want to talk to Strauss, Sam. I just want to bitch behind her back and speculate about her.”

“You're going.” Coop slipped his arm in Emily’s and the three of them were walking toward the two veteran agents. She made sure to put on her picture perfect smile even if in the back of her mind she wanted to hit Strauss with one of the nicely decorated chairs.

“Good evening Agent Strauss; Agent Rossi.”

“Good evening, Cadet Prentiss.” Erin put on her best smile as well. Emily Prentiss was a bit of a reckless brat but only a fool didn’t know she could wipe the floor with 90% of the people in that room tonight. That included agents as well as cadets. She was destined for first in her class and an amazing career in the Bureau if that recklessness didn’t catch up with her. “You look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you ma'am; so do you.”

Emily wore a 50s inspired J. Crew dress with a wide belt. It was red with embroidered flowers on the skirt. Her black hair was upswept and she opted for black ballet flats.

“Cadet Cooper, Cadet Kassmeyer, how are you this evening?”

“I'm great ma'am.” Coop smiled. “I just wanted to take the opportunity, in a more relaxed atmosphere, to tell you how beautiful you look and how beautiful you are.”

“Well that’s very sweet.” Erin smiled.

“I certainly hope you can find a space for me on your dance card this evening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Erin sipped her martini.

“Agent Rossi, I have to say it’s an honor to meet you.” Sam extended his hand. “I've heard so many stories about you.”

“All of them are true.” Rossi grinned as he shook Sam’s hand.

“Somehow I doubt it.” Emily mumbled as she tried to hold onto her smile. She was going to kill Coop.

“David, Cadet Prentiss is one of the most talented I've seen in a long time.” Strauss told Rossi. “There are some personal issues that might stand in her way but if not you're looking at the future of the FBI.”

“Well well Cadet Prentiss, Erin doesn’t usually bestow those kinds of compliments on people.” 

“It doesn’t feel like she was doing it just now either.” Emily replied. “Will you excuse me; there are some other people I’d like to talk to tonight.”

She managed to get away, pinching Coop hard before she left. He grimaced but held onto his handsome smile. He was thinking of ways to get rid of David Rossi so he could have just a bit of alone time with the attractive blonde. He was no competition for the likes of an FBI legend. Sam sensed his roommate’s desperation.

“Agent Rossi is it true that you did an exclusive set of interviews with Charles Manson?” he asked.

“Be careful, Cadet Kassmeyer,” Erin smiled. “There's nothing David likes talking about more than himself.”

“Lets get a drink.” Dave put his arm around Sam’s shoulder and they walked away.

“You do plan to mingle tonight, don’t you Cadet Cooper?” Erin asked.

“It’s going to be a long night Ma'am. I’m quite comfortable where I am at the moment. Shall we have that dance now?”

“You do realize that an agent fraternizing with cadets is patently against the rules?’ Erin countered.

“Oh absolutely; I would never expect you to do something of that nature. However, I have read the rule book cover to cover and nothing was mentioned about cadets flirting mercilessly with beautiful agents.”

“Does this work on women your age?” Erin asked.

“I rarely flirt with women my age…ma'am.”

Erin rolled her eyes, smiled, and accepted his arm. The hired band played some generic form of Luther Vandross. She wanted to dance tonight; Dave promised to tire out her feet and carry her home. Now he was telling old stories, some truth and others embellished. When he could get a captive audience, Erin sometimes faded into the background. Good, bad, or somewhere in between, she was going to let herself be the center of someone’s universe tonight.

000

“May I buy you a drink?”

Emily turned toward the voice and saw an attractive man with a sexy accent. She hid her smile but surely not the lust in her eyes.

“The drinks are free. Don’t waste your money.”

“May I order you a drink then?”

“Sure, I’ll have a Cosmo.”

He told the bartender what she wanted and then leaned on the bar beside her.

“Leave it to me to attract the party crasher.” She said.

“I beg your pardon?” his eyes widened.

“While the accent is interesting, it’s a dead giveaway.” Emily took her martini glass. “There are no French men in the FBI.”

“Clyde Easter,” he extended his hand. “Interpol.”

“Wow, now that’s impressive.”

“I'm thinking its not, Cadet Prentiss.”

“How did I sound?” Emily asked.

“You sounded sarcastic, not that that’s completely unattractive.”

“That’s what I was going for even though you weren't supposed to know it. I guess I'm too tired to work for it.”

“Tired or not,” Clyde smiled. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Thank you. How do you know my name?”

“I listen. I wasn’t able to catch your first name though believe me I tried. I find this whole thing to be overly formal when they were going for the opposite.”

“And how did a Frenchman end up at an overly formal FBI to-do?” she asked.

“I'm here for a ten week course at the National Academy.” He replied. “One should never stop learning.”

Emily knew he had to be a big deal to be here. The National Academy only took people by invitation only. While maybe a quarter of them were from international agencies you had to be big time for them to want to share their “intelligence” with you, so to speak. Interpol was pretty big time. 

She had a fling with an Agent on a run through Moscow the summer after her sophomore year of college. Emily hadn't even believed him when he told her that. Men loved to tell women tall tales in an effort to get laid. It was only when she was about to leave that her mother confirmed it. Luckily she was able to do that without knowing all the hot sex Emily had over the month.

“Aren't there places in London, Paris, or some other cosmopolitan European city where you could never stop learning?”

“Yes but I've flirted with every woman from Cornwall to Calabash. Another shore was calling me.”

“My name is Emily.” She said.

“That's a lovely name for a lovely woman.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“No,” Clyde shook his head. “But I wouldn’t have to to compliment your outer beauty. I'm not opposed to getting to know anything about you that you want me to know.”

“I don’t have a story...I’m just a girl at the bar.”

“I like it already. Shall I turn the page?”

“Mr. Easter…”

“It’s Agent Easter actually. I like the allure of it. Along with the accent it has a bit of a secret agent ring to it.”

“Please don’t flirt with me.” Emily said.

“Alright. But I’ll have you know that I am quite good at it.”

“No you're not. And you’ve got lousy timing.”

She smiled as her eyes found Aaron Hotchner. He was just walking by, doing his best to look neutral as Emily flirted with the Frenchman. Their eyes connected, her brown to his hazel, and she caught the signal. He wanted to get away, just for a little while…be somewhere alone. Emily knew it was wrong—would be her downfall—but she wanted to be close.

“Well it was very nice to meet you anyway, Emily Prentiss. Perhaps I’ll work on my flirting and we’ll see each other again.”

“I have a feeling that when we do it will be interesting, Agent Easter. Please excuse me.”

“Of course.” Clyde nodded and watched Emily walk away.

She surveyed the party; everyone was socializing. The music was crap but the drinks weren't watered down. There were plenty of interesting people to introduce herself to or converse with. She definitely wanted to chat with Jason Gideon before the night was over. 

At the moment she was taking her half-empty martini glass and heading outside. If anyone asked Emily would say she needed some air. It was the middle of September and autumn was in the air. These were her favorite kind of nights.

“You look amazing tonight.” Hotch said as he walked up behind her. 

She smelled amazing as well. He always meant to ask her what she wore but never got around to it. Usually his mouth was occupied in some other fashion when they were together. This was stupid, it was dangerous, but he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t know the last time he felt this way. Hotch didn’t know the last time he felt at all.

“I really just threw this on.” Emily turned and smiled. “But I must say that black is definitely your color.”

“Does anyone just throw something on?”

She rolled her eyes, pulling a clove from the sterling silver cigarette case in her clutch purse. To Emily’s surprise, a lighter emerged from Hotch’s pocket.

“I knew it.” she leaned in close and inhaled.

“What did you know?”

“You were Cary Grant in a past life.”

“I wish.” He smiled and showed off his dimples. “Are you having a good time?”

“I am now. It was fun to watch Coop flirt with Erin Strauss earlier. It made me slightly nauseous but it was still fun.”

“You seemed to enjoy some flirting as well.” Hotch said.

“Cary Grant doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body.” She sipped the last of her martini. It would be time for a refill soon. “He knows that all the ladies find him so handsome and fascinating. They do that even when they don’t want to.”

“Why wouldn’t they want to?”

“You are so…”

“Aaron?”

The smile on his face froze and quickly faded. He turned at the same time that Emily looked. There was a blonde woman standing a few feet away. She was pretty and wore a green cocktail dress. Emily had never seen her before but Hotch looked as if he’d seen a ghost.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I was invited. I almost decided to stay home but who would miss an opportunity to get an up close look at the starry-eyed young thing fucking her husband. I'm Haley Hotchner.” She held out her hand. “We haven’t had the pleasure.”

For one of the first times in her life Emily was speechless. She looked at the woman, who wore the smuggest look on her face that she’d ever seen in her life. Then she looked at Hotch. It was in his eyes. Everything was in his eyes. The blonde wasn’t lying.

“I can explain.” He said it low, as if he didn’t want Haley to overhear.

“No need.” She spoke low as well and shook her head. “Just go to hell, OK?”

“Emily...”

She walked away. She took her clove, what was left of her dignity, and got the hell out of dodge. Mrs. Hotchner? Wow, she never saw that one coming. Emily had been the other woman before; she never claimed to be perfect. But when it came to married men she had a one-night stand only policy. 

Without her knowledge she’d become a man’s mistress. Emily was smarter than that; she could read married on a man like the cheap cologne they often wore. Aaron Hotchner had her fooled. He had her fooled big time. Son of a bitch; son of a motherfucking bitch.

“Are you alright?” 

Emily grabbed her chest, turning around and seeing Clyde Easter.

“You scared me.”

“I didn’t mean to. What are you doing out here?”

“I need to leave. I just…I can't be here anymore.”

“I was about to take a little ride.” Clyde said. “I surely wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Are you married?” she asked.

“I was once, a long time ago.”

“Let’s go.”

Emily walked away from him, not knowing where she was going. She didn’t really give a damn. Getting away from Agent and Mrs. Hotchner was all that mattered to her.

***

“Jordan and I are over.” JJ shook her head, running her fingers through her long blonde hair. “I guess it’s silly to say that something’s over when it never quite started in the first place. The sex was amazing, really really amazing, but it was just sex. I've never been in a relationship with a woman; I never thought that was my thing. I don’t want to label myself but maybe I am just bi-curious. 

“That’s what Jordan said about me. That sure didn’t stop her from sleeping with me though. God, I don’t want to be bitter. We’re grownups and make grownup decisions. 

“I went in with both eyes open. I just need to let go because that’s for the best. I refuse to hold onto something that was never there. I don’t want to hate Jordan…we were friends first. I can hate Elle Greenaway though.”

“Why do you hate Elle?” Sam asked.

They were sitting on the portico of their dormitory. JJ was drinking a wine cooler and watching the rain fall. Sam was keeping her company. He could tell when he came back from the gym that she was down in the dumps. So he sat with her and struck up a conversation.

“She went after her anyway. For all she knew we were in a serious relationship and she went in for the kill with no thought about who she might hurt. I mean who does that Sam? Who moves in and tries to break up a seemingly happy couple?”

“The sad truth is that there are people like that in the world.” Sam replied. “But maybe Jordan told her that you two weren't serious. Even you admitted that.”

“Yeah, I guess. Don’t defend her Sam; I'm calling bullshit.”

“OK.”

They both saw Emily approaching. It was raining but she didn’t walk fast. She just looked lost, tired. All of her friends knew she was in a bad way. No one knew what to do for her. She seemed to lose her drive and they knew her work suffered for it. The past six weeks had been tough. The cocktail shindig was supposed to be a good time. It turned out to be anything but for Emily Prentiss.

“Hey.” She held up her hand to wave as she walked under the shelter of the portico.

“Hi Emily.” JJ smiled and hoped it might make her friend do the same. No such luck. She looked at her watch. “I should get out of here. I'm meeting Will LaMontagne to do some translation for this counterterrorism project we’re working on. He's a sweet guy but I swear there will be no hanky panky. If you catch me doing otherwise you're allowed to smack me hard.”

“He talks funny.” Emily said. “But you're right; he's nice.”

Sam was waiting for her to make a hanky panky joke but it never came. JJ got up from the bench where she was sitting and said goodbye. Emily sat in her place. She dug a clove from the messenger bag she pulled over her head and lit it.

“How are you?” he asked when they were alone.

“I'm a fuckin idiot. I don’t even think I'm an idiot because I got conned with the ‘never done this’ sweet routine. Shit happens Kassmeyer, you know. I got got. I'm not the first woman or the last.

“I'm an idiot for letting it break my stride. I've got goals that I need to attain. How the hell am I supposed to do that walking around like a heartbroken teenage girl? God,” Emily smirked. “I've never let a damn man get to me.”

“You had feelings for him.” Sam said.

“No, I…OK, maybe.”

“There's no maybe about it. You might not have wanted to but something was definitely there. I can't say love; I surely don’t know you well enough.”

“I've never been in love before.” Emily said. “Of course I've also never been this hurt before so maybe…” she sighed. “It wasn’t love; it just wasn’t dammit.”

“Whatever you need I'm here for you.”

“Why are you so sweet, Sam Kassmeyer?” 

“It was how I was raised.” He replied.

“New Hampshire in the house.” Emily managed a smile.

“Something like that.” Sam smiled too.

“Jessie Brooks is a very lucky girl.”

“She and I…we’re just friends.”

“Really?” she looked at him. “Forever ever?”

“I don't know.” Sam shrugged. “I like her a lot; a lot a lot. We’ll see. Other things have to take priority right now.”

“I'm done with affairs of the heart for the duration. I've got to focus on my work; there's surely enough of it. I need to get back on track. Nothing else matters anymore except the FBI Academy. I know it was getting bad when Strauss actually took me aside and asked if I was alright.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. She took one last puff of the clove and then plucked it away. “I knew I was in trouble then. I have to refocus. I can fall in love, or whatever, after I graduate first in the class. Maybe…maybe not. It’s best to stop thinking about it.”

“Do you have any plans this evening?” Sam asked.

“I was going to say the library so I wouldn’t be distracted. I think I’ll just close myself up in my bedroom instead. I've got a lot of reading on domestic terrorism to catch up on. What about you?”

“Jessie and I are gonna have some dinner in Quantico. I hope to wow her on my knowledge of…anything really. I just want to wow her.”

“I'm sure you'll be fine.” Emily smiled.

“Thanks. I should probably get upstairs and get showered. Coop’s still at the gym. He’s hit full stalker mode and memorized Strauss’ schedule. He ‘runs into her’ there at least twice a week.”

“He's a really special dude.”

“That’s one way to describe it.” Sam laughed as he got up from the bench. “Are you coming upstairs?”

“I’ll be up in a little while. I need some fresh air.”

“Smoking a second clove isn’t fresh air.” 

“See ya later, Sam.” Emily smiled and waved.

“Bye Prentiss.” he went inside the building.

Emily dug another clove from her purse and also her cell phone. One missed call: Hotch. The phone hadn't rang and he didn’t leave a voicemail. She sighed, lighting the clove. There had been lots of missed calls over the weeks. He wasn’t even smart enough to hang up on nine digits like most guys. 

Or maybe he was smart and wanted her to see what he was doing. Emily had done well avoiding him and planned to continue doing so. He wasn’t instructing any of her courses at the Academy though he did teach a seminar in hostage negotiation at the National Academy. Clyde Easter told Emily that he was good but not the best he’d ever seen. 

She didn’t care and told Clyde so. Aaron Hotchner was dead to her. If he wasn’t than her career would be over before it started. That was the last conscious thought she planned to have about him.

***

He watched her for a few minutes through the glass before knocking. Her laptop and spiral notebook was in front of her; ear buds in her ears. She’d occasionally write something in the notebook or type something on the laptop. Gideon’s second knock went unanswered as well so he just walked in.

“Knock, knock.” He said.

“Oh…hey.” She looked up and pulled one bud out of her ear.

“Am I disturbing anything?”

“I'm almost finished my counterterrorism assignment. I'm playing some major catch up but it’s entirely my fault.”

“I have something that might help.” Jason held out the cup. “It’s café Americano with Splenda and caramel cream.”

“Oh wow.” Emily smiled and reached for it. “You must be a mind reader. I need to drink much more coffee.”

“I try. May I sit?”

“Of course.”

Jason closed the door and sat across from her at the big table. Emily moved her laptop a bit to the left so that she could actually see him.

“I won't keep you because I know you have plenty to do. I just wanted to ask if you were alright.”

“Yeah.” Emily smiled and nodded. She sipped the coffee, nearly swooning. “Oh wow, this is good. You made it perfectly. Did you know there's a saying that the man who makes you the perfect cup of coffee will never break your heart?”

“I’ll be sure to inform Dan the barista of that.” Jason smiled.

“Oh.” Emily smiled. “Right.”

“Are you alright?” he asked again.

Emily heard it in his voice; he wanted the truth. She almost wanted to tell it. God, it would feel so good to get it all off her chest. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much if it wasn’t crushing her. The classic Prentiss compartmentalization skills, which single handedly ended the Cold War if some stories were to be believed, were on full display. 

Emily was able to push through, refocus, inhale, and exhale. The work was getting done again and she was training physically as well. There were still nights when she cried herself to sleep but Emily tried not to beat herself up too much about it. It was hard to control herself in the dark. In the light she was almost back in top form. 

There was some whose stares were deep enough to see through her mask. They'd been kind enough not to call her on it. Gideon and his repeated ‘are you alright’ had come the closest. Emily was afraid if he asked her again then she would break down completely. She couldn’t let that happen.

“Things weren't good.” She said. “I can admit that. They still aren’t perfect but I had to prioritize. We’re at the halfway mark now…its time to separate the game from the truth. I have to be at the top of my game. I was slipping.”

“What knocked you off, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I just…I was focusing on the wrong things. My priorities got skewed but that’s over now. I'm back on track.”

“It seemed to happen the night of the party.” Jason replied. “I expected you to harass me for a dance but then you just disappeared.”

“Were you disappointed?” Emily asked.

“I was.” he nodded.

“I got violently ill and just couldn’t stay. It’s a shame too since one of the few people I managed to engage with was Erin Strauss. I did meet the super duper world famous David Rossi though. Oh, and Agent Clyde Easter from Interpol. He's a very interesting man.”

He was also a hell of a kisser but Emily kept that information to herself. He was an interesting man, a lousy flirt, and a good kisser. She’d seen him a few times over the past six weeks. Still, it wasn’t a love affair. 

Emily had no time for that ever again. Luckily Clyde understood, as his ambition matched hers. He was happy to keep her company when there was time for that sort of thing. Considering the catch up game Emily was playing there wasn’t a lot of time.

“I'm glad the wrongs have righted themselves. I noticed a marked change in you and it concerned me. I know that even in the bubble of Academy training real life and personal issues can still affect us. That’s why my door is always open, Emily. I see something in you; something I believe should be nurtured. Anytime that you need a little push or a shoulder then I'm here.”

“That’s very kind of you.” she smiled.

“I'm not just doing it for that reason. You're very special, Emily Prentiss, but there are obstacles in your way. If I can, in any way, help you keep your eyes on the ultimate goal then I will.”

“Your door is always open.”

“Absolutely.” Jason nodded.

“Maybe one day I’ll take you up on it.”

“If you feel more comfortable speaking off campus we can do that too.”

“Are you auditioning for the patron saint of lost causes?” Emily asked.

“I won't take up anymore of your time.” Jason stood almost wearing a smile. “Good luck with your assignment, catching up, and refocusing.”

“I'm almost there.”

“Good.” He nodded. “Have a good night, Emily.”

“Goodnight Gideon.”

He left the study lab. Walking back to the stairwell he ran into Aaron Hotchner. The younger man greeted him amiably. He seemed nervous about seeing someone who knew him.

“It’s been a long time since I've seen you pull late nights at the library.” Jason said.

“It’s not that late. I offered to help a cadet.”

“Emily Prentiss?”

“It’s not what you think, Gideon.” He said.

“I didn’t think anything. Just remember that it doesn’t matter what it is; only what people think they see.”

“We’re in the library; nothing improper is happening.”

“Alright.” Jason nodded. “Have a good night.”

“You do the same.”

He made his way to Study Room #510 and just looked at her. Emily looked hard at work but he could see the sadness in her eyes. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. It wasn’t that Hotch wanted her to hurt; nothing could be further from the truth. She was though and it was his fault. Fixing it was important to him. 

Hotch was sure that Emily Prentiss would never speak to him again, and maybe that was rightly so. She seemed to have moved on nicely with that French James Bond. Maybe she’d never felt the same way he did. She never said she felt a certain way. Even if she didn’t that wasn’t what mattered. Hotch had to fix this.

“Can I talk to you?” he knocked and walked into the study lab.

“You’ve been doing quite well avoiding me like the clap.” Emily replied. “I have no problem with continuing that trend.”

“Please Emily. I just want to talk.”

She sighed, really looking at him. God, he had the most beautiful face. He was off limits and she should've stayed away from him. Anything that good was bound to be bad for you. It was possible that she’d never recover from the wounds. They wouldn’t kill her but the scars would make sure she never forgot.

“I'm really busy so you'll have to make it quick.”

Nodding, Hotch came in and closed the door. He sat in the same place Gideon had but Emily didn’t extend him the courtesy of moving her laptop. It was taking all she had not to haul off and beat the hell out of him.

“Emily, I am so, so sorry. What happened at the party…I never wanted you to find out that way.”

“I think you mean you never wanted me to find out.” she said.

“My marriage is over.” He said.

“I don’t think your wife got the memo.”

“She absolutely knows it. I've spent the past six weeks trying to figure out who told her about the cocktail party or about us.”

“You were being pretty discreet. There was a crash pad and everything. I count myself pretty smart when it comes to the tenets of deceptive men and you even fooled me. Bravo, Agent Hotchner.”

“I wasn’t trying to fool you. And there isn’t any crash pad; that’s my apartment. I know you're angry, and you have every right to be. Haley was out of line; the whole incident was uncalled for.”

“You're going to blame her for calling you out and calling me what I was?” Emily asked raising her eyebrow. “Nice.”

“I am not married Emily. OK, technically I'm married but I'm separated. I've been legally separated since March. My wife had an affair and I caught her red handed. The worse part is that it wasn’t some stranger; some guy who all I had to see was the back of his head as he scampered out of my bedroom. 

“She had an affair with a man I worked with everyday. We put our lives on the line together and he was sleeping with my wife whenever my back was turned. I filed for the legal separation in March but the state of Virginia requires six months before you can actually file for divorce. I could’ve immediately filed if adultery was the cause but at least one witness is needed for corroboration. 

“I don’t exactly see Haley standing up and saying that she did what she did. She wants to reconcile, for what I have no idea. She says she loves me and made a horrible mistake. I don’t want to be with her…our marriage was over long before I walked into that bedroom and saw what I saw.”

“OK.” Emily nodded. There was more to say, so much more, but she couldn’t articulate it.

“I should've told you from the beginning and I'm so sorry but Haley is my past. I have no idea why she did what she did or who may have whispered in her ear about us. We are never getting back together, Emily.”

“Neither are you and I, if you can even call what we were together. I can appreciate that I won't have to go through life thinking that you're a monumental douchebag. But this opened my eyes, Hotch. You have your brass ring. 

“I'm still reaching for mine. The last thing I need is distractions. For the past six weeks I've been drowning on dry land. Everything has suffered and I can't ever let that happen again. I refuse to lose focus.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Hotch shook his head.

“And I won't lose everything.”

“You seem to make time for Clyde Easter.”

He didn’t want to go there but the smug Frenchman rubbed Hotch the wrong way. The idea of Clyde being with Emily, doing things they used to do, being intimate, made his stomach turn. She was rejecting him in favor of work; he could maybe live with that. Where did Agent Easter fall in the grand scheme of things?

“You have absolutely no right to question choices I make concerning who I spend time with.” Emily said. “I wasn’t going to put up with that when we were sleeping together and I damn sure won't now. I'm really busy; I need to get this work done.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“I know, Aaron.” she held up her hand, didn’t want to hear it. “You don’t mean to a lot. Please just say goodnight. It’s for the best.”

“Goodnight Emily.” Hotch walked out of the room but came back about 90 seconds later. “I’ll wait.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said I would wait. I know how important this is to you and I don’t want to distract you. I want to support you however I can. This time isn’t forever…I’ll be there when it’s over. Don’t settle for some thing with Clyde Easter when you could have everything with me.”

“That kind of speech is usually more effective wearing a trenchcoat and toting a boombox over your head.” Emily said as she put her ear buds back in. “Goodnight, Agent Hotchner.”

It was probably an hour later as she wrapped up her assignment that Emily let his words sink in. And they made her smile. Dammit.

***

He took the kidney shot, which doubled him over and then the upper cut, which landed him on his ass. Emily stood over him doing a victory dance.

“Savoring this isn’t quite as fun when you let me win.” She said.

“You'd never know from the victory dance.” Clyde said. “I'm trying to teach you. Besides, scars are sexy. And if you feel sorry enough for me then I’ll get TLC later.”

“Not likely.” Emily crossed her arms.

He grinned, standing up and shaking off the punches. They'd been training for an hour so Clyde was ready to call it a night. While taking a pounding from Emily Prentiss was fun, it was still a pounding. There was only so much he could stand at a time.

“Will you let me take you to dinner?” he asked.

“I'm so busy Clyde; I doubt I could find the time right now.”

“It’s alright. Am I being too pushy?”

“No.” Emily shook her head.

“Do I have a chance in hell of ever spending an evening with you? I should clarify that answering no will in no way stop our training or witty banter.”

“I’d love to have dinner. I would love to put on a pretty outfit and get the hell out of Quantico. I'm just so crazy right now. We all are.”

“Let me know when you're not crazy.” Clyde said.

“You're not going to be here much longer.” She said. “Your program is almost over.”

“My schedule has some flexibility to it.”

“How long can you stay?”

“I was thinking until you surrender to my charm.” He smiled.

“Oh Clyde, I would feel horrible letting you neglect your work for that long.”

“You're beautiful.”

“I'm more than that.” Emily countered.

“Oh yes. You're also brilliant, funny, strong, and bold. You'll be an asset to this place in the very near future. I think you and I would work well together.”

“It’s too bad I can't join Interpol.”

“That’s where you're wrong. Both agencies have a foreign exchange program, so to speak. We need more agents like you…we need more women like you. Say the word; I can make it happen.”

“I’d like to go into the BAU after graduation.” Emily said as she untied her boxing gloves. “It’s not easy to get in straight from the Academy but I have no intention of letting that stop me.”

“Behavioral analysis is quite a respectable undertaking.” Clyde said. “Just don’t completely dismiss foreign service. They'd be lucky to have you. I don’t even think serial murders would put out the inferno in your belly, Emily Prentiss.”

“I’ll think about it.”

She meant what she said. When she was little, Emily used to pretend she was James Bond. Traveling all over the Middle East and then Eastern Europe with her parents, an old handheld hair dryer as her gun, Emily defeated all the bad guys. The idea of doing that in real life was intriguing. It was dangerous as well but she could handle it. 

She knew that no matter what, riding a desk would never make her happy. Emily wanted to travel, work cases, slay demons, and live to tell the tall tales. Working with Clyde Easter would surely be easier than working with Hotch. But this wasn’t about either man in actuality. 

Emily wanted to learn everything Jason Gideon had to teach. And it seemed even more improbable for a rookie to get Foreign Service than to get into the BAU. You had to have some kind of experience before taking the show international. Even if he pulled some strings, Emily didn’t want to be there if she couldn’t hack it.

“I want to hear more about foreign service.” She said.

“I can tell you anything you want to know over dinner.”

“We can have lunch. Are you free on Friday? It’s the only day this week that my schedule isn’t bursting at the seams.”

“I am free, and I love lunch.”

“Good, so do I.” Emily smiled. “Now I need to shower because I smell like a rhinoceros in heat.”

“Do you need me to hold anything for you while you do that?” Clyde asked.

“I'm good. Thanks so much for the lesson.”

“I’ll hop in the shower too and then I'm walking you home.”

“We’ll meet at the door in 20.” Emily said.

“It might take a bit longer…this hair doesn’t do itself.”

Emily laughed as she lifted the ropes and they parted ways.

***

“1972.” Jordan read the flashcard.

“J. Edgar Hoover died.” Will said.

“Wrong; the first class of female cadets entered the Academy. Drink!”

Will scowled as he poured himself a shot glass full of Jack Daniels. He took it down with one gulp, chasing it down with some Coke. A group of cadets were hanging out in Will and Russ Goldman’s room studying for their oral and written exam on the History of the Bureau. To make it interesting, at least three different bottles of liquor were open. For every wrong answer they had to take a shot.

“Emily?” Jessie grabbed a flashcard from the pile. “1934.”

“Federal agents killed John Dillinger inside the Biograph Theater in Chicago.”

“Correct.”

“I hate you.” Will mumbled.

Emily stuck out her tongue and smiled. Then she did a shot of Absolut Mandarin.

“In the name of brotherhood.” She said sucking on an orange slice.

“OK, I don’t hate you so much anymore. Wait, I swear J. Edgar Hoover died in 1972. He died May 2, 1972.”

“That might have something to do with female cadets coming in that September.” Russ said.

“Well that wasn’t on the back of this card.” Sam said showing it. “Sorry Will.”

“It’s cool. I'm never one to turn down a drink.”

“Has anyone noticed if Strauss wears a wedding ring?” Coop asked. “I feel like I've asked everybody and I can't get a straight answer.”

“I cannot believe you're still on this.” Jordan rolled her eyes.

“I say yes.” JJ said.

“I say no…about the ring thing.” Will countered.

“I say never look directly into the face of darkness.” Emily said.

She ducked as a couch pillow came sailing in her direction.

“Seriously Coop, you're practically stalking her and you haven’t noticed if she wears hardware or not? I'm ashamed of you really.”

“I don’t often find myself focused on her hands.” He reasoned. “What can I say?”

“I can say you're gross.” Jordan made a face.

“Todd, I see you ogling women all the time.” Will said. “Now you're saying its gross?”

“Oh no, no, no, I said ogling Strauss was gross. Paying special attention to beautiful women is fine…just never ogle. We don’t like it when you ogle.”

“Coop definitely ogles Strauss.” Emily said. “If he could will it, she’d give him sec every night.”

“Damn straight.” Coop nodded and smiled.

“I think she wears a ring.” Sam said. “I don’t think it’s a traditional engagement ring and wedding band but she definitely wears a ring. I just don’t think she's married to David Rossi. I mean opposites attract but c'mon…”

“C'mon what, Sam?” Jessie asked. “Love is a combination of all kinds of components and chemicals. You can't just look at two people and say ‘nope, they don’t match’.”

“But he seems so…and she really doesn’t.”

“Perhaps she brings out his better side and she's able to let her hair down with him.” JJ said.

“I love her with her hair down.” Coop grinned.

“Eww.” Emily shuddered. “Why are we talking about this?” she looked at her watch. “I need to get out of here. I've actually managed to get some sleep this week and I think I might be getting used to it. It’s much easier to keep information in my brain when it rested.”

“Can I talk to you before you go?” JJ asked.

“Yeah,” Emily stood and slipped back into her Doc Martens. “Walk me to the door.”

“Are you sure you have to go?” Sam asked. He smiled when she rustled his sandy brown hair.

“Yeah, I am. I’ll see you bright and early for our four mile run, Kassmeyer.”

“I doubt it'll be bright.” Will said. “There’s more rain in the forecast tomorrow.”

“Geez, are we in Quantico or Seattle?” Russ asked.

“We’re going to float away soon. Goodnight guys.”

“Goodnight Em.” Everyone said in unison as they waved.

“There are two spots open in the BAU.” JJ said in a low voice as she and Emily walked to the door. “I want one of them.”

“You want to be a profiler?” Emily asked. “Sorry if I seem surprised…”

“No, it’s alright. I don’t want to be a profiler; I want to be a liaison. It’s someone who works with local law enforcement, deals with the press; controls the story so to speak. I'm the bridge between the BAU and the world. Well I would be if I got picked.”

“That sounds pretty cool. I've never heard of it.”

“You and Jason Gideon seem close. I swear to God I'm not using you, Emily, I just…I'm testing the waters. I know there are currently two spots open and the rumor is that Gideon might want rookies. I just don’t know if he's looking for two profilers or something else.”

“I’ll do my best to get some info for you. Gideon seems to know my best sneaky moves before I make them. I’ll probably just ask outright, since it’s not for me and all.”

“Thank you so much.” JJ’s smile brightened her already sunny face.

“Sure, it’s not a problem. Goodnight.”

JJ went back into Will’s room and closed the door. Emily walked to the elevators but she didn’t go up two floors to her and Jordan’s room. She got off at the lobby, chatting amiably with Owen Kim before walking out of the dorms. It was drizzling but Emily didn’t care. In her car she took a deep breath and started the ignition. 

She probably shouldn’t be doing this but she was anyway. Emily hadn't gone anywhere yet so there was still a chance to change her mind. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, she hit the gas. The Rolling Stones blasted out of the speakers. The ride was about 25 minutes but with the weather and traffic Emily didn’t know how long she would be on the road. 

She couldn’t be out all night. The dorms closed at 2am. Sam would be knocking on her door at quarter to seven for their run. All of this was a risk, even timed to the second. She just didn’t give a damn. She probably should but she didn’t. 

When she got where she wanted to be, Emily parked two and half blocks away. She walked in the rain and tried to talk herself out of it. _Just go home_ , she said. _You need to go home and focus on what's important. This isn’t important and will be your downfall. You're smarter than this…you're supposed to be smarter than this_. 

Hotch opened the door. He looked at her and wanted to say so much. The words weren't coming at the moment. He couldn’t even believe that she was standing in front of him.

“Don’t say anything.” Emily said walking across the threshold and into his arms. “Don’t say a damn word.”

Hotch shut his mouth. He just held her to him, kissing the top of her head as he closed the door with his foot. Trembling, she was wet and cold, Emily kissed Aaron Hotchner for the first time in almost eight weeks. It felt so good; tasted so good like he always did. The kisses intensified as Hotch pushed her against the apartment door. Emily reached back to lock it, safety first, and then yanked down his track pants.

“Fuck me right here.” She murmured against his lips.

“I want to make love.” he whispered back. “It’s been so long.”

“Stop talking.”

“Let’s go to the bedroom at least.”

Emily relented, barely stopping the kissing. Hotch stepped out of his pants; he didn’t want to end up falling on his face. He picked Emily up in his arms and walked down the short hall to his bedroom. It was dark but that didn’t matter. They knew how to take off each other’s clothes. It had practically second nature.

“You're so beautiful.” Hotch knew she said not to talk but he couldn’t help it. 

When her nudity didn’t make him speechless, it made him want to talk. He wanted to talk about her soft, porcelain skin. He definitely wanted to discuss her pert breasts, sensitive nipples, and the silver hoop through her left one. He wanted to talk about her belly button, hips, thighs, neck, collarbone…there weren't enough words.

“Do you want me?” Emily asked as she drew him into another kiss.

“Oh God, yes.” Hotch nodded. “I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry that I hurt you baby”

“We’re not back together.” she held up a finger to indicate she meant business. “This is just sex. Its nothing more Hotch, I mean it.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I can just go then.”

“I don’t want you to go” Hotch sighed. “But you can't blackmail me with sex Emily.”

“Oh God.” She rolled her eyes. “I knew we should've never started talking. This isn’t blackmail, its just sex. There’s no need to get overdramatic. Hippos have sex.”

She pushed him away. Hotch didn’t want to go but never planned to be forceful. Emily got up, started getting dressed.

“So you're just going to leave?” he asked.

“You’re lucky I came at all.”

“Lucky? I didn’t invite you here, Emily; you just showed up.”

“I didn’t ask you to buy me a damn drink. I didn’t ask you to decide for once in your life to be spontaneous and do something wild. I damn sure didn’t ask you to be wonderful and make me fall for you. I think I would've remembered asking your wife to show up and basically call me a whore in public.”

Emily was breathing hard but refused to cry. She really wanted to beat him up. She wanted to throw punches and have Hotch take it. He deserved them; he knew he deserved them.

“I didn’t mean to fall for you either.” He said. “But the truth of the matter is that I did. We’re going to have to do something Emily. We can decide to be in a relationship or not to be. But I don’t do casual sex. I surely can't do it with you.”

“We had sex the night we met.” Emily said. “It doesn’t get more casual than that. I didn’t even know your name.”

“I know, and that’s unlike me. I'm sure a lot of guys say that but for me it’s the truth.” He reached for her hand, pulling her back down on the bed. Emily sat up, keeping her distance but letting him keep her hand. “You're only the second woman I've slept with in my life. 

“My estranged wife was my high school sweetheart…we were together for a long time. When our marriage started to crumble, it hurt. When I found her in bed with someone else it was unbearable. I thought you were beautiful from the moment I saw you at the bar. 

“I thought maybe, just maybe, I could do something different. Why the hell not, it was sex not rocket science right? So I did it; I did it and was pretty great. Then I saw you again in the dining hall. When that happened, I knew that it could be more than that.”

“That’s damn near the cheesiest thing I've ever heard.”

“Why are you so damn snarky?” he asked.

“I'm a Prentiss…it’s a reflect.” Emily shrugged. “I want one of those spots in the BAU. I want it and I'm going to get it. It might be weird, us trying to work together while going back and forth on ‘are they or aren’t they’. I get enough shit because of my last name. 

“I can't do a damn thing about that. But I can prevent myself from becoming the girl who fucked her way into the BAU. We can't do this. You don’t have anything to lose and I have everything. 

“I'm sorry I came here tonight. I'm sorry I let my carnal urges lead me…this isn’t the first time. I want it to be the last, at least where you're concerned. We can be friends, I guess, but that’s it.”

“I don’t have anything to lose? I'm going to lose you Emily.”

“You’ve only known me for three months. Look, I'm not trying to negate your feelings…”

“Actually, you are.” Hotch said.

“I'm not.” She shook her head. “It’s just best that we end it.”

“I thought we had. You were the one who showed up here tonight.”

“And I apologize for that. I just…I missed you like crazy.” Emily spoke so low that she barely heard the words. She bet Hotch heard them loud and clear. “I need to go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm not sure of a damn thing right now. I just know if we sleep together it’s not going to be good for either one of us. And you know it too, Aaron.”

“I said I’d wait and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere, I'm here for you.”

“I have to go.”

Emily didn’t want to hear it; she didn’t want to think about him waiting. It just wasn’t going to work. She wanted more than anything to be with a good guy like him but it wasn’t meant to be. She had to focus on what was important and getting through the Academy was important. 

Getting one of those spots in the BAU was important. Carnal knowledge of one of her superiors wasn’t important. Why did he have to be in the FBI? There was no use over thinking it. He was and he was officially, and forever, off limits.

“Alright.” Hotch nodded, letting her hand slip out of his. She was already in her panties and sweater so he watched her put on her jeans and shoes. Hotch got up from the bed and walked her to the front door. The silence was deafening but there was little left to say.

“I'm sorry.” Emily said. “The first time was totally your fault but this time it was mine. I don’t want us to keep hurting each other. I guess there's no good way to do this.”

“Can I have a hug?” he asked.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t want to hold on for too long. Emily tried to think of other things; baby hippos, Prada shoes, and rainy days. Then she moved away.

“I’ll see you around.”

“If you have your way we’ll be working together soon.”

“I like getting my way. Goodnight, Hotch.”

“Goodnight. Drive safely OK?”

Emily walked out. Hotch didn’t know how long he stood in front of the closed door. She was gone. She was probably never coming back. It wasn’t either of their faults that they began to feel things that were difficult to shake off. They needed to shake them off though. 

He wished he could turn back the hands of time and stop Haley from coming to that party and ruining everything. He and Emily were making it work. Now that was over. Maybe, someday, luck would fall on their side. That day wasn’t today. Hotch was never going to stop wanting it though.

***

“You're dropping your shoulder.”

“Really? Why don’t you tell me something that I don’t fuckin…?” Emily turned around. “Ma'am!”

“Good evening, Cadet Prentiss.” Erin Strauss said.

“What are you doing here?”

“All agents are allowed, and encouraged, to use the range.”

Emily gave a small nod, once again turning to focus her target. The shoulder dropping thing, which was instinctual and difficult to control, was keeping her from reaching her full potential. There was something inside of her that tensed before she pulled the trigger. Even thinking of the target as Strauss or that bastard who knocked her up in Italy when she was a teenager didn’t help.

“It’s a natural reaction.” Erin went on as she opened up her small case and pulled out a beautiful silver Glock. “You drop your shoulder, flinch; hesitate. Any of those moves can be dangerous in the field.”

“I don’t intend to be rude ma'am but I have someone training me. I don’t need advice.”

“You have a large chip on your shoulder, Cadet Prentiss.”

“Where I come from, ma'am, that’s known as the pot calling the kettle black.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Erin said.

“Well there's something we actually have in common.”

“I have many reasons for doing what I do.”

“I'm sure we all do.” Emily popped off six more shots, liking where the bullets landed as opposed to the last time. There was another test at the range scheduled for next week; it would be the third since classes started. Emily placed third in her group last time and that wasn’t good enough. She could and would do better.

“What made you choose the FBI?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Emily stopped what she was doing and looked at the veteran agent. Too bad Coop wasn’t here…he’d probably have a heart attack seeing her in dark rinse boot cut jeans and an oversized grey cashmere sweater. All she needed was a ponytail to look like one of those private school moms. Something about this entire encounter seemed calculated; Emily had a strange feeling in her gut. 

All her time at the range and never once had she run into Erin Strauss. She wanted to tell her to leave her alone. This wasn’t the lecture hall; she could be dismissive while being respectful. But what if this was a test? Being an FBI agent wasn’t just about physical strength, completing assignments, and passing written exams. It was also about fidelity, bravery, and integrity. 

You were supposed to be an exemplary human being, not just an agent. It was not realistic but a goal to strive for. There would be no bigger tests in that category for Emily than Agent Erin Strauss. Still, she had no intention of ever kissing her ass or anyone else’s. They hadn't had any major clashes since the yawning incident but keeping her distance was the best way to prevent such things. They were too close right now.

“With your family name, pedigree, and education you could’ve done anything you wanted. You chose the FBI. I'm asking you why.”

“You had all of those things as well, ma'am. You chose the FBI.” Emily said.

“I'm asking you, Cadet.”

“It chose me really. And I'm here because I want to be.”

“Why?” Erin asked again.

“Ma'am, I would prefer we not have this conversation. I'm tired and I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I came here to be alone; blow off steam. The time will come for exit interviews. Feel free to ask any questions then.”

“I will Cadet.”

Emily pulled her target in and collected it. She took her gun over to the counter, turned it in, and signed out. She didn’t want to be around Erin Strauss anymore. Nearly down to the nub, it was time for a shower and a long night’s sleep.

“Have a nice evening, Agent Strauss.”

“You too, Cadet.”

She was halfway out the door when she ran into Clyde.

“You look like bloody hell.” He said instead of hello. “You're still beautiful, but definitely with a dash of bloody hell.”

“I just have no idea how you're not beating the women off with a stick.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Your flirting skills are second to none.”

“Thank you.” he grinned. “Are you alright, Emily?”

“I'm beat…literally beat. And the devil just walked into the gun range. All I want is a hot shower, a clove, some tea, and some blankets. I really don’t care that it’s barely eight o’clock. I know I can sleep all night.”

“That sounds heavenly.”

“Would you like to join me?” Emily asked before her rational mind could tell her that was a bad idea. 

It was such a bad idea. Shower, smoking, and sleeping were always more fun with a partner though. And there was no denying, Emily had tried, Agent Easter was quite an attractive and fun companion. It wasn’t the same as with Hotch and for that she was grateful. She could just let go and have fun with Clyde.

“I'm finding it difficult to say no.”

“There will be no funny stuff, Agent Easter.”

“Then I take it you're not having me join you for the shower portion of the evening?” Clyde asked.

“I’ll think about it as we walk.” Emily put her arm in his. “C'mon.”

000

“So then he pulled out his gun and said it was the end of me.” Clyde laughed. “It was something straight out of a bad spy movie, I swear.”

“Are you serious?” Emily laughed.

They were spooning in her bed, which wasn’t that easy considering its size, but could be done. They managed to shower together with no funny business. Emily almost died when Clyde washed her hair. Then they had tea, smoked cloves, and got right into bed. The rainbow sock wrapped around her doorknob let Jordan know not to disturb her when she came back to the room.

“I'm serious. There was really nothing I could do but stand there and get shot. He aimed at my chest, fired…and the gun jammed. I beat the hell out of him and got out of Bratislava as fast as I could. I haven’t been back since.”

“That sounds like an adventure.” Emily turned on her back.

“It is adventurous.” He brushed the damp raven hair from her forehead. It had been a while since Clyde had been chaste with a woman in bed. It had probably been before puberty. Why was lying here with Emily Prentiss already in his Top 3 and not a damn thing had happened between them? 

If it ever did Clyde might not recover. “It can also be dangerous and scary. I know how much good I'm doing for the world. I love the travel, the intrigue, and the stories I can tell later to impress very beautiful women such as yourself.”

“You must get laid a lot.”

“I really do. I get laid alllllll the time.”

Emily laughed and kissed him. It wasn’t the first time she’d done that but it was the first time naked. She moaned as his body moved against hers. He had a hell of a body.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” he whispered against her lips.

“Then we’re even because I don’t often understand myself.”

“I don’t want to be a rebound fling, Emily. Please don’t get me wrong, pleasing you sexually would be my profoundest happiness; I'm sure you’d please me too. And I'm surely not asking you to be in love with me if you don’t want to be, but I’d prefer that you not be in love with Profiler Boy if we’re going to go there.”

“I'm trying.” Emily said.

“I know. Don’t rush on my account. I'm probably always going to be crazy about you.”

“Probably?”

“Woman…” Clyde laughed, turning Emily on her side and spooning again. He was hungry for her but it wasn’t the right time. He was sure Emily Prentiss had her share of one-night stands and he’d had his share as well. But there was something about her that told him almost from the beginning that one night would never be enough.

“So not tonight?” she asked.

“Not tonight, no. It gives us something to look forward to when we meet again.”

“I'm actually horny as hell right now.” 

“If you need to take matters into your own hands, so to speak, I have no problem with that. I’ll just lie here watching with a gleeful look on my face.” Clyde said.

“I bet you would.” She smiled. “I'm just going to sleep it off. Sleep is what I need more than any of it.”

“Then I’ll hold you.”

“Thanks for being here Clyde. Most men would've wanted something more. Most men would've been highly offended thinking they were second banana.”

“I can admit to occasionally being a something more kinda guy. And I'm not second banana…I'm waiting in the wings. There are women in the wings, and lots of adventure.”

“How did you know about that anyway?” Emily asked. “Profiler Boy I mean?”

“One doesn’t need to be a profiler to recognize the guy the girl he has feelings for has feelings for. Whatever he’s done to lose your affections, he's a fool.”

“He hasn’t done anything. It’s just not the right time and it might never be.”

“And I'm done with the National Academy in a week.” Clyde said. “I'm going to do the Yellow Brick Road Obstacle Course and then I'm gone.”

“I know. You need to get some sleep too or at least be quiet so that I can.”

“Being quiet.” He closed his lips.

Clyde wasn’t as tired as Emily seemed to be but be damned if he ever missed an opportunity to hold her. It might be his only one. Emily Prentiss wasn’t the settle down type, not at this point in her life anyway. He couldn’t blame her. He didn’t think he was either. 

She was young, beautiful, ambitious, and had the entire world at her feet. Clyde wasn’t going to win her heart, today, especially with Aaron Hotchner running interference. But getting her to Interpol would be a victory. It wasn’t because he was trying to be her man. He just knew it was the perfect fit for her. Now Clyde just had to convince Emily of that.

***

“I truly hope this won't be seen as a bribe or anything resembling inappropriate.”

“I checked the handbook before I left. A burger and milkshake is just fine. If you would've offered me steak I would've politely declined.”

Emily smiled as she ate her French fries. She’d invited Jason Gideon out for dinner tonight. She was surprised when he said yes. So they met up at the Georgetown Diner on another rainy DC evening.

“You seem to be doing much better.” he said. “I don’t just mean with your training. Your disposition is more positive as well.”

“I'm not sure that my disposition has ever been positive.” Emily replied. “I’d like to think of it as non-negative though. At least it is at the moment.”

“That’s an interesting term. You don’t do many things normally do you?”

“Normal is overrated. I've gotten to know you, somewhat, over these many weeks in the Academy. If you think you're normal Agent Gideon, think again.”

“I don’t.” Jason shook his head.

“Are you going to take me into the BAU?” she asked.

Jason smiled, looking at his watch. “Sixty five minutes. That’s pretty good for someone with your patience level, Cadet Prentiss.”

“Well I'm asking because…”

“What?”

“I'm quite intrigued by the Interpol Foreign Service Program.”

“Where did you hear about that?” Jason asked. 

He knew every cadet was trying to find out about every opportunity afforded them after graduation. While the Interpol program wasn’t a secret, it wasn’t offered up on a platter like field office and liaison positions were. You were picked specifically for it and you had to be picked by someone with some serious backing. Jason knew he was watching Emily Prentiss closely, how hadn't he noticed that someone else was?

“I heard it from Clyde Easter, the agent I met at the mixer. He was training at the National Academy and we began training together. He’s an Interpol Agent.”

“I'm not an expert on it but I know the work is intense and dangerous.”

“I speak five languages fluently, Gideon, one of which is Arabic. That number doubles if you add in my conversational skills. I'm well read and bred, tough, can run on little sleep for days at a time, and there's almost no place in the world I haven’t been and experienced.” Emily said. “It seems like the perfect fit. I could save the world.”

“I think that’s an impossible mission.” Jason replied. “I also think that Interpol sells a glamorous condo that quickly turns into a coldwater flat. Emily, whatever you do you will excel. I truly believe that. I just don’t want you making any hasty decisions.”

“And I don’t want to get stuck in the St. Louis field office pushing paper for six years.” She said. “I swear I'm not trying to short cut my way through this. And I didn’t join the FBI for the wrong reasons. I know I've got to earn my stripes and take my lumps like everyone else. The BAU is my dream; it’s the dream of a lot of those cadets. The Foreign Service would be awesome though. And I am qualified…I'm not asking for a favor. Maybe when I have more experience under my belt its something I’ll look into.”

“That’s what the St. Louis field office is for. We all had to start somewhere.”

“You started in the BAU.”

“Touché. One has to be extraordinary, or be seen as such, to leap from the Academy to the BAU. Even then it’s no easy feat.”

“I'm extraordinary.” Emily smiled.

“There are many people who would agree with that.”

“You wouldn’t, Agent Gideon?”

“I never said that.” Jason shook his head. “I’ve just seen many graduates crash and burn rushing to get out of the starting gate. This job is a mixed bag. There are things that you need to learn that books and interactive lessons can never teach you. No one said a field office in the Midwest, or even on the East Coast, is going to be adventure everyday. But it will be a learning experience you can get in no other way.”

“Well tell me about the BAU liaison positions. Are there any available; I have a friend who’s quite interested in one.”

“Which friend?” 

Jason knew most of the cadets Emily hung out with. He didn’t know them personally but had instructed them and watched them grow over their time in the Academy. One of them, Sam Kassmeyer from Boston University, was in the Top 10 poll. There was a strong possibility he could be picked by his fellow cadets to speak at commencement in three weeks.

“Jennifer Jareau.” Emily said. “I’d honestly never heard of the position but she seemed really into it when we were talking. I don't know if there’s space or not, and I know she’s a rookie, like me, but consider her. She’s awesome.”

“I will certainly keep her in mind.”

“Thanks. Thanks for everything, Gideon. I know I couldn’t have been easy to rein in but you stuck with it and I appreciate that. I didn’t even ask you to help me really but you were still there and…people don’t often stay where I come from. I don’t rely on anyone because they won't be there for long.” Emily shook off the emotions boiling up inside of her. “Anyway, I know the burger and milkshake is just a little thing and I know I've been on your last nerve running around like a little yapper dog trying to get you to consider me for the BAU, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“The heart is a very resilient little muscle.” Jason said.

“Oh my God,” Emily looked at him with wide brown eyes. “You're a Woody Allen fan?”

“Some of the time, yes. It’s quite a true statement, about the heart. It’s the only thing in our bodies that can break over and over again yet still have the capacity to keep us going. There are times we think it will never recover, that we won't, but the heart heals. It will always love and learn and grow again.”

“Let’s not talk about love. I don't want anything to do with that. I want to focus on my career.”

“Forever?” Jason asked.

“I’ll just say for the time being and leave it that at. No more speed bumps or potholes…I need a smooth road.”

“Lets toast to smooth roads.” Jason held up his strawberry milkshake. “They may be a little boring but at least they're smooth.”

“That’s your toast?” Emily raised her eyebrow.

“What's wrong with it? You said you needed a smooth road.”

“What's right with it? C’mon Agent Gideon, you have a Bachelor’s degree from Northwestern and two Masters Degrees, one from Columbia and the other from University of Chicago. I know you can do a better toast than that.”

“Alright then, how about to all the roads we’ll see ahead. Whether they're smooth, bumpy, curvy or even closed, may we never stop driving forward.”

“That’s perfect.” Emily smiled and touched her milkshake cup to his.

“Nothing is perfect.” 

“Let me have my moment please.”

“Yes ma'am.” Jason nodded and sipped his milkshake.

***

“I am in desperate need of one of those.” Jordan made a noise as if she were in pain when she walked out on the portico. She joined Emily on top of one of the benches, smiling when she gave her a clove and a bottle of Mike’s Strawberry Lemonade. “I'm done with studying, D-O-N-E, done. The shit is bananas.”

“I'm just taking a break. I have no idea what essay questions Strauss might pull out of her hat. Truth is we don’t need to know a damn thing she’s taught us to be an agent but she’s going to make sure she pushes us to the limit.”

“Do you think you can get brain tumors from over studying?” Jordan asked. “My head is killing me.”

“You’ve hardly eaten a damn thing in the past couple of days…unless you count Elle Greenaway.”

“Hand to God, all we've been doing is studying. She’s in the process of having a little meltdown about whether or not she's going to make it. The physical stuff is no problem for her…she’ll ace those tests. She’s worried the interactive and book stuff will kick her ass.”

“Tell her to get in line. Studies show cunnilingus eases tension.” Emily said, taking a deep inhale of her clove.

“Really? I swear I'm going to use that to get someone in bed one of these days. That’s a good one. Did you turn in your paper yet?”

“I’ll do it tomorrow. Did you?”

Every cadet was given three choices for field offices. It was mostly ceremonial; the FBI put you wherever the hell they felt like it unless you were requested specifically by someone. Requests could be plentiful from places like Cheyenne and Kalamazoo. New agents went where the jobs were.

“I did.” Jordan nodded. “I picked Seattle, Salt Lake City, and here at Quantico. I want a counterterrorism spot. I think I was impressive in some of the trials. I don’t know how cadets in other quadrants did, and I don't have a fairy godmother like Gideon, but I'm crossing my fingers on that one. I bet you didn’t know it was part of the BAU did you? It’s not the swanky profiler part but it is a part of the NCAVC.”

“Salt Lake City?” Emily looked at her. 

She ignored the Gideon jab because she wasn’t quite sure if it was a jab or not. Jordan had never been the kind to believe that Emily used her pedigree to get ahead. She still made fun of her sometimes about it, a friendship thing, but Emily couldn’t tell this time. Since they were all under stress from studying it was better to let it go.

“JJ picked it too.”

“You're following Jennifer Jareau?”

“Following would be the wrong word. Look, there's never going to be anything romantic between us. She’s with Will LaMontagne now. But seriously, who the hell wants to be in a new city and a new job all by themselves? Lots of cadets are trying to double up. We might get lucky. Elle put Seattle on her list too. I really want to stay here and work counterterrorism but I have to keep it real.”

“I have no idea what the hell I want.” Emily said.

“And this makes today different from any other day how?” Jordan asked.

“Can you give me a boost, Jordan, goddamn?”

“I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed and miserable. You’re going to be fine you know. I think Gideon’s just making you think you're not getting this BAU thing so you won't walk around like you own the joint. He’d be an idiot to let you get away, and he's not an idiot.”

“I'm still thinking about Foreign Service. I'm thinking about it a lot.”

“Is this about Clyde Easter? Jordan asked.

“Nope, this is about my childhood wish of being James Bond. Both of them are probably the wrong reasons. I have to grow up, all 800 of us do, and it’s scaring the shit out of me. There will be no more fantasies and games after I walk across that stage. It becomes real life, nine to five, guns and ammo, lunch in a brown bag, hair in a scrunchy life.”

“I’ll kick your ass if I ever see your hair in a scrunchy. Unless we’re at the gym; scrunchies are perfectly OK at the gym.”

They were both laughing, though their hearts weren't completely in it, when Sam came jogging up.

“Hey, I thought you were upstairs studying.” Emily said.

“No, I was getting stressed.” Sam started stretching when he got into the portico. “I decided to go for a run. I was crawling out of my skin.”

“Hey!” Elle walked out of the sliding glass door. “Todd, bring your ass! There's more studying to do and I'm losing my mind in here alone.”

“Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?” Jordan retorted.

“Only on Sundays.” Elle replied.

“Do you want some lemonade, Elle?” Emily asked, holding up the six-pack. “It’s the good stuff.”

“I’ll take one for the road.” Elle came over and grabbed one. “Thanks, Em. C'mon princess lets go.”

“I’ll see you later Em.” Jordan hopped off the table. “We need to finish this conversation.”

“Well you definitely know where to find me.”

She watched Elle and Jordan go back inside. Then she lit another clove and looked at Sam. He was finishing his stretches, bounced up and down on the balls of his feet a few times, and then drank the rest of his Gatorade.

“Do you feel better?” Emily asked.

“I don't know.” He shrugged. “But since the answer isn’t no I’ll call it a victory.”

“Sorry that you weren't picked for the commencement address. It should've been you.”

“Owen Kim is a good cadet; he’ll make a great speech. I don't care about those kinds of things. I’ll be happy to do enough pushups to graduate.”

“You can't still be worried about that?” Emily smiled some.

“It’s better than worrying about all the other things we need to be worried about. In less than two weeks we’re going to be FBI special agents. We’re going to be scattered all over the country trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I still haven’t even told Jessie how I feel about her yet.”

“You’ve implied it, right? I mean I don't know I'm just asking.”

“I think I have. She makes me nervous, you know. It’s a good nervous but it’s still nervous. We’ve kissed, fooled around, but haven’t had sex. I wanted to, she wanted to, it’s just…there was so much going on. And I've watch friends let sex take them right out of the game.”

“Ouch.” Emily put her hand over her heart.

“You know I’m not talking bad about you Emily. But affairs of the heart and FBI elite training do not go hand and hand. Jessie and I only picked one field office out of three in common so the odds of us ending up working together are slim.”

“If you love her you better tell her. There are other ways, Sam. There's email and Skype and hell there's even snail mail. You seem like the love letter sort. Just don’t let something good get away. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but you'll never know if you don’t try.”

“Are you going to try with McDreamy?” he asked, sitting beside her on the bench.

“That’s over and done with. Even if I wouldn’t have found out he’s not really married but married and even if I didn’t want to work in the same unit that he's in, it wasn’t meant to be. You can't build a relationship from a drunken one-night stand. It’s like Murphy’s Law.”

“I don’t even know what that means. I do know that you deserve happiness.”

“I’ll be happy when Gideon invites me into the BAU. Hell, there's a possibility that I could be happy in the right field office for a couple of years until I rack up some experience.”

“Did you pick your top three?” Sam asked.

“No, what about you?”

“I chose Boston, San Francisco, and Newark. Jessie picked San Francisco as well. That would be really far away from my dad though; I want to be closer to home. I'm never going to get him to move from Newberry and that’s OK. I just don’t want to be away. He’s alone now; my brother is off doing his own thing.”

“Your mom passed away right?”

“Yeah, I was seven years old. My father never remarried. What's taking you so long picking your top 3?”

“I have a couple more days. I just want to make sure I make the right decision. I think that’s all I've been trying to do since I got here. It’s not just going to suck being far away from Jessie and your dad. It's gonna suck when you're far away from me too. I kinda like you Sam Kassmeyer.”

“Well there's always email, Skype, and hell even snail mail.” He put his arm around her. They had gotten close over the nearly five months they’d been at Quantico. Sam expected to meet people who made the experience more bearable. He truly hadn't expected to make friends. He was glad to be wrong about that. “You're not shaking me off so easily, Emily Prentiss. I promise.”

“Cross your heart?” she leaned her head on his shoulder. Emily was tired of losing people; she was just tired.

“Cross my heart.”

***

“Chief Strauss will see you now.”

“Thank you, Agent Anderson.” Emily stood from the chair and smoothed out her slacks.

“You look nervous.”

“I'm not nervous.” She shook her head.

“That would be a first.” Anderson smirked. “She's not as bad as people think, and she's in a good mood today.”

“Surely my arrival will change that. How did you end up with this gig anyway?”

“Chief Strauss requested me.” he replied.

“When did you graduate from the Academy?” Emily asked.

“Two years ago, top 10% of my class.”

“And you wanted to be Strauss’ secretary?”

“I'm much more than that, Cadet. And that’s Supervisory Special Agent Strauss to you; or Chief Strauss if you'd like.”

“Meow.” 

Emily did the cat scratch motion and Anderson laughed. He walked away, heading downstairs for the files his boss requested. He was not a secretary; Erin Strauss had two of those. He was her special assistant. People made fun of him but he didn’t give a damn. 

He’d learned a lot from Erin. He wasn’t always going to have this job…Anderson had big dreams as well. But it wasn’t the slave gig most people made it out to be. He wasn’t a lapdog, he was a federal agent. Jealousy and bitterness was an ugly thing.

Emily took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She would actually rather swallow razor blades than do this right now. That might sound a bit overdramatic but it was the truth. She had made it through 20 weeks; 850 hours of FBI Academy training. 

She’d made it through Strauss and Hotch and 5 mile runs in the rain. Graduation and real life, such as it might be, was within her grasp. But now came the hardest test of all. This was a trap and Emily wasn’t sure how she was going to stop herself from falling in. 

“Come in.” Erin called from inside.

“Good afternoon, Agent Strauss.”

“Come in and sit down Cadet.”

Emily did, taking another deep breath. She crossed her legs and looked around Erin’s office. Hell, it was good to be queen. There was lots of modern black furniture and nifty electronics. Big picture windows gave a nice view of the FBI training facilities. 

Framed degrees from various schools, including Oxford University, hung on her walls. There were also pictures of children that Emily didn’t want to assume were hers but probably were. And then she saw it, the wedding picture of Erin Strauss and David Rossi. Coop was going to flip his shit when he heard this. Emily almost smiled thinking about deflating the wind in his sails. 

What were friends for if they couldn’t bust your balls? She’d probably need to after this interview. Even though they had exams in the morning, a bunch of cadets were meeting up for dinner and drinks later on. She would probably really need that too.

“I have to say that this is a lovely office.” Emily thought it would be good to start this off pleasantly. She was raised right after all.

“Thank you. I've worked very hard for it. They even let me decorate it myself.”

“You're a Section Chief, am I right ma'am?”

“Yes, I am the Section Chief of the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime. But we’re not here to talk about me, Cadet.”

“No,” Emily shook her head. “But it must be an accomplishment you're quite proud of. Women have only been in the FBI for 30 odd years and you're running an entire section.”

“My mother definitely brags about it at her weekly bridge games. What about your mother, Cadet, is she bragging about your many accomplishments in the FBI Academy?”

“I can't say ma'am; I've been here for the past 5 months working my butt off.”

“And what attracted you to the FBI in the first place?” Erin asked.

“I want to help people. I've always studied what makes people do what they do and I know in the FBI I can be an asset in making sure that people who hurt other people, for whatever reason, are stopped. It’s not going to be an easy job. It can be thankless and it can kick your ass, excuse my French, but I can be good at it.”

“There are surely more glamorous ways to be a hero.”

“I don’t want to be an actress ma'am; play a hero on TV. I want to help people. I want to slay demons and let people know that when they cross my path they’re going to pay for what they’ve done. I'm not playing cops and robbers; I'm making a career for myself.”

“Most FBI agents cap out at $60,000 a year.” Erin said. “Aren't you accustomed to a more…extravagant lifestyle?”

“My parents are wealthy, yes. That has nothing to do with the life I'm accustomed to. Forgive me but I don’t think that question has merit. If people did jobs based solely on money we’d have few teachers, firefighters, librarians, or cab drivers. Money isn’t everything. In the end it actually means next to nothing.”

“I hear you show an interest in the BAU, Cadet. Tell me about that.”

“I just want to go where I can help.” Emily lied. She wasn’t letting Erin know about her dreams so she could dash them. She might find out eventually but it wasn’t going to be from her. “I can admit to being fascinated to learn from Jason Gideon. He’s been such a help to me while I've studied at the Academy. There are actually many departments of the Bureau that I find intriguing. Only time will tell where I end up.”

“That’s so true, Emily. I see such potential in you. You are smart, tenacious, and bold. You don’t take no for an answer and you don’t follow the pack. Those are great assets to have. 

“You're also reckless, have immature tendencies, and let your demons get the better of you. That could lead to your downfall. It would be a shame for that to happen. The Bureau should be proud to have you and you proud to be a part of it. I’ll keep my eye on you because however this story turns out I have little doubt its going to be a hell of a page turner.”

“Was that a question? Am I supposed to respond to that ma'am?”

“You’ve got great test scores thus far.” Erin began to leaf through a blue folder as if Emily hadn't spoken. She forgot to mention that she was a world class smartass. Erin really hated that and often wanted to put her in her place. Emily Prentiss liked pressing buttons. 

One of these days she would press the wrong one and it would send her crashing to the bottom floor. “You're in the Top 5 graduating next week. I'm sure it was your desire to be #1. Can you speculate why that didn’t happen?”

“I did the absolute best I could so I'm not unhappy with my position in the class.” Emily replied. “I had some setbacks, I overcame them, and I'm proud of that as well.”

“And you’ve filled out your assignment paperwork for after graduation?” Erin asked.

“Yes ma'am. I turned it into the office just before I came here. I think Honolulu might be a distant dream but if we have nothing to aspire to then we won't keep striving.”

“That’s exactly right.” the Section Chief managed a smile. “Do you have any questions?”

“No ma'am.” Emily shook her head.

“This might be your only chance, Emily. If there's something you want to know this is the time.”

There were a million things running through Emily’s mind. Are you a bitch by nature or do you work hard at it? Is Dave Rossi good in bed? Would you fuck Coop if he wasn’t a cadet? Do you hate everyone around here or just me? Is this all an act and you’re really one of those nice pushover people? She just maintained her neutral face and shook her head again.

“I don’t have any questions.”

“Alright then.” Erin closed the folder, put it back in the pile on her desk and stood. “It’s been a pleasure Cadet Prentiss. I wish you the best of luck in the FBI.”

“We don’t want to be presumptive ma'am.” Emily stood and shook Erin’s outstretched hand. “I'm not in the FBI…yet.”

She left the office, told Anderson to have a nice day, and got the hell out of dodge. It was over; she’d survived the exit interview. It honestly wasn’t that bad but Emily had no idea of that when she was going in. Strauss decided not to drop an anvil on her head. 

She had to wonder why. But she wasn’t going to let those worries get the best of her. She’d won…she took what Erin Strauss had to give for 20 weeks and was about to graduate. The torture was nearly over.

“Emily?”

Shit, she’d spoken too soon. Stopping dead in her tracks, Emily didn’t turn around. She didn’t want to see his face. Hotch just came around to the front of her. He wasn’t smiling but wasn’t frowning either. For a few seconds they just stood there, doing their best not to look at each other.

“Hello Agent Hotchner. I hope you don’t want to just stand here and stare. It’s getting chillier by the second.”

“That’s not the proper jacket for this kind of weather.” Hotch said.

“Thanks for that. If there’s nothing else…”

“Em…”

“I have to go. I'm sure I’ll see you at commencement next week.”

“I’ll be there.” he nodded. “Maybe we can talk afterward.”

“About what?” Emily asked.

“I don't know; anything. We’ll both be agents…we won't have to sneak off.”

“Yeah my sneaking off days are over.”

“I’ll buy you a drink.” Hotch said.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“I have to go.” She repeated.

Emily walked away. It was the best thing for her to do and she did it. Having a drink together could not end the way it should but the way she wanted. Her parents were probably going to take her out for dinner later that evening but there would be a luncheon at Quantico and then a few hours in which Emily slept after that. She needed to make sure that whatever happened she was sleeping alone. 

God, the wind still carried the scent of him. Emily deeply inhaled and damned herself. She was never going to be able to stop smelling him now. Working with him everyday wasn’t going to be easy. But it wouldn’t be impossible either. Emily wasn’t going to let anything ruin her dreams. She was so close now; failure was no longer an option.

***

“Excuse me, Special Agent Prentiss.”

Emily turned when she felt the tap on her shoulder. She smiled at Sam.

“What can I do for you, Special Agent Kassmeyer?”

Laughing, she threw her arms around him and they held each other for a long time. They’d made it. There were times when falling apart was a serious option but they made it. The past five months were not for the faint at heart. 

“I wanted to cry when they handed me my ID and my gun but I didn’t want to look like a wuss.” She said, wiping her eyes.

“I know what you mean. It was a moment that can never be topped as long as I live. I'm sure of that. But I wanted to introduce you to…”

“Oh my God, Mike Kassmeyer!”

Emily surprised both Sam and his father by jumping out of Sam’s arms and into Mike’s. She hugged him and kissed him as if they were long lost relatives and not complete strangers.

“Well I can say it's been a while since such a pretty young lady has thrown herself at me.” Mike said smiling. He looked a lot like Sam when he did.

“Your son talks about you all the time.” Emily said, her arms still around him.

“Em…” Sam rolled his eyes.

“I'm serious. I know all about meeting his mom while working the shores of the Merrimack River and how you have the best bowling alley in the county and how you're a deacon at the church and make the best key lime pie in New England.”

“Maybe the best key lime pie in New Hampshire but not the whole of New England.” Mike said. “He's talked about you a lot too, Emily. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

“Is Sean here?” Emily asked.

“No, he couldn’t make it.” Sam said, trying and failing to hide his disappointment. “He’s got a lot going on, his freshman year of college and all. But Dad’s going to stay a while and do the tourist thing. He’s traveled to many places but has never had a true view of the nation’s capital. I was hoping…”

“You better not ask me to hang out with you and your dad.” Emily said. “I mean I can't think of two more adorable and awesome guys to spend time with but there’s a sassy blonde who might want to a little more than even me.”

“Jessie is definitely going to be spending time with us.”

“We just want you to have dinner with us while I'm in town.” Mike said. “Sam is also going to invite Eric and Jennifer as well.”

“Ooh, you might not want to call Coop Eric to his face. I don’t know why but he hates it.”

“I’ll remember that.” Mike smiled.

“I’m there, just call me and let me know when.” Emily smiled too. “Until I get my official field office assignment I'm going to be staying with my parents in Chevy Chase, so I'm practically local. In fact, I probably need to find my parents. They didn’t come to this luncheon for me to ditch them. We’ll meet up again because I want you to meet them.” she kissed Mike. “I’ll be back to hear much more about you.”

“I look forward to it.”

Emily bounced out of his arms and went to find her father and stepmother. She was happy. For one of the first times in her life she was just happy. She was a graduate of Hotchkiss, Yale, and American but had never quite been happy. She had a young life of travel, wealth, and parties. 

Most people thought it was awesome and glamorous but to Emily Prentiss it had been anything but. Being a cadet in the FBI Academy, despite the ups and down and lows and highs, was finally where Emily found herself. This was the life she wanted; her life. She wasn’t going to have to follow her parents around or be who someone else thought she should be. 

All that she’d learned and sacrificed over the years nearly felt worth it as she walked across that stage when she heard her name. She could feel the eyes on her. She heard the applause, her father’s the loudest. Gregory Prentiss put propriety to the side, which probably wasn’t easy for him, and damn near whooped and hollered for his little girl’s success.

“Gideon!”

She saw him across the room and rushed over to him. After graduation the FBI had a luncheon in one of the ballrooms on the Quantico campus. There was delicious food, great beverages, and a boring band playing. All the cadets, agents, and family members had a few hours to enjoy everything that happened. Emily heard from around that there would be many more dinners, luncheons, and award presentations over her years in the Bureau. Most would be boring as hell. This one was a celebration.

“Hello, Special Agent Prentiss.” Jason smiled.

“I'm going to throw my arms around you and you aren’t going to fight it.” she said.

“Go for it.”

She did, hugging him tight, pulling away for a moment and then hugging him again. She hadn't seen him during the graduation and that concerned her but she was happy to see him now.

“I was worried that you weren't here and I wasn’t going to have a chance to celebrate with you.”

“I was late.” He replied. “I hate admitting that because I'm rarely late but there was something I needed to take care of and it ran over. I saw you walk across the stage.”

“Was it my BAU paperwork; is that why you were late?” Emily asked.

“You never give up do you?”

“It’s what I want. I know what I want, Gideon.”

“I know too but…”

“But what?”

“Emily, I'm sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?” she asked.

“You're not ready. You made it through the Academy despite some stumbles and I know one day that you're going to be an amazing profiler. But you’ve got to get some experience under your belt first. I would be irresponsible to bring you into the BAU right now. I just can't do it.”

“I hate you.” Emily said.

“I know you don’t mean that.”

“I want to mean it.”

“You're an FBI Special Agent.” Jason said. “The whole world is in front of you. You’ve got a million experiences to be a part of. I know you're disappointed but this is for the best.”

“Please don’t let me end up in Schenectady.” Emily said. She was holding back her flood of emotions. Something in the pit of her stomach for weeks told her that Gideon was going to teach her some lesson but she tried to ignore it. Just like every other time before this, ignoring her gut turned out not to be a good thing.

“I would never let that happen. I don’t know where you're going right now but I'm sure they’ll be lucky to have you and its going to be an experience.”

“Can I hate you?”

“No.” Jason shook his head. “You can introduce me to your parents though.”

“Well it’s my father and stepmother.” Emily slipped her arm in his as they started making their way across the room. “My mother couldn’t be here today; I'm sure she has her reasons.”

“She missed a very nice ceremony and a big moment for you.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time. She’s a really busy woman…she might not even be in the country right now.”

Jason wanted to say he knew for a fact that her father and stepmother were quite busy too. They were still there to help her celebrate. Her father even allowed his excitement to burst through when his only child walked across the stage and into the FBI.

“Daddy, Nat, I want to introduce you to…Clyde!”

“We already know Clyde, sweetie.” Gregory Prentiss smiled.

“No, I just…”

“I'm sorry I'm late Emily.” Clyde smiled. “Fog delayed my plane out of Gatwick. I tried to get here but time wasn’t on my side.”

“It’s OK. You're here now and that’s what matters. I'm glad you made it. But I wanted to introduce you guys to Jason Gideon. Gideon, these are my parents Gregory and Natalie Prentiss.”

“It’s an honor to meet you Ambassador and Mrs. Prentiss.” Jason shook both of their hands. “You have quite an amazing daughter. It was an honor and privilege to teach her. It will be the same to work with her someday.”

“Someday.” Emily mumbled.

“Agent Gideon, your reputation precedes you.” Natalie said.

“As does yours Mrs. Prentiss.”

“Emily how did I not know that Natalie was your mother?” Clyde asked. “I have no doubt that it has something to do with why you're extraordinary.”

“Stop.” Natalie smiled.

She was Emily’s stepmother but she felt no need to correct him. Natalie and her father had been married since she was eleven years old. She had been the main maternal influence in her life since high school.

“Clyde was regaling us with stories of his secret agent adventures.” Natalie said.

“Agent Easter, I don’t think we've been properly introduced.” Jason shook Clyde’s hand.

“I can concur with Mrs. Prentiss. Your reputation definitely precedes you.”

“As does yours.”

“I think I need a drink. Emily shall we?”

“I've left my parents hanging for so long and…”

“Go sweetheart.” Gregory said. “We just want you to celebrate. This is your day; you don’t have to accommodate us. Anyway, Nat and I are going to have a chat with the Deputy Director. It’s been too long.”

“If you embarrass me I will disown you.” Emily said. “He doesn’t know me from a can of paint and I want to keep it that way.”

“I’ll make sure.” Natalie replied.

“Being proud of my daughter is not embarrassing.” Gregory said.

“Natalie’s on pinch patrol. C'mon Clyde.” She took her arm out of Jason’s and put it in his. “Will you be around?”

“I will.” Jason nodded. “I definitely want to talk some more before you go.”

“Well I’ll be with my parents until I get my assignment so I'm not going to be far.”

“Alright.”

She and Clyde headed for the bar. One thing about the Bureau, they knew how to indulge in the spirits. Sometimes it was the only thing that made these shindigs interesting. As a vet of political functions, Emily was old hat at drinking and socializing.

“Someday?” Clyde asked.

“What?”

“Jason said it would be an honor to work with you someday.”

“He's not taking me into the BAU.”

“Why not?”

“I'm not ready.” Emily replied.

“Are those his words or yours?”

“His…but he’s probably right. I need to get some experience under my belt. Then I take the SSA exam, nail it, and he won't be able to turn me away.”

“Interpol would take you right now. I have a connection; it can be done.”

“Its tempting.” She looked at him.

“Then say yes.” Clyde smiled. When the bartender walked over he ordered a glass of Hennessey. Emily ordered Riesling. “Say yes and I can make all your dreams come true.”

“Are we still talking about Interpol?”

“If you want to be then we are.”

“I have time.” Emily said. “I have time to do a lot of things. Maybe I was trying to rush it when I shouldn’t be. There are a million experiences for me to experience. I should enjoy them. Do you know how many things I've experienced but was barely there? That part of my life is over…this is something new. I don’t want to look back on it and regret rushing through.”

“Is that a 21st century yes?” he sipped the drink in front of him.

“You don’t stop, do you?”

“I just know magic when I see it. Jason Gideon’s loss should be Interpol’s gain.”

“Maybe it will be…someday.”

“Ahh, the elusive someday. I may hold you to it, Emily Prentiss. Speaking of elusive…”

“Were we?” she smiled.

“Profiler Boy is here.”

“Are you stalking him?”

“No, I've just seen him a few times.”

“I haven’t.” she shook her head.

“It’s going to be hard to soak up all those new experiences when you can't get your mind off him.”

“I like you a lot Clyde. Don’t make me change my mind by assuming you know what I'm thinking and feeling.”

“I just don’t want you to chase something that you're never going to catch. I like you a lot as well and you're better than that.”

“Yes I am.” Emily nodded. “I’ll handle what I need to handle. Now tell me how long you’ll be in town.”

“Long enough to wine, dine, and woo you.” he replied.

“Where are you staying?”

“I'm at the Jefferson Hotel. Have you had their brunch; its amazing.”

“So we’ll see each other?”

“How much and how often to be determined by you.” Clyde said.

“I can't wait to get out and have dinner again. I want to try someplace different every night next week.”

“You're in luck. I'm here every night next week.”

“What a coincidence.” Emily smiled.

“Hey Em,” JJ walked up to the two of them. “Excuse me for interrupting but people are going to start to leave soon. We’re taking more pictures and stuff.”

“OK.” She turned to Clyde. “You'll stay awhile?”

“I’ll be here. Off with you…make some lasting memories.”

“That’s the plan.” She kissed his cheek before making off with JJ.

000

“Emily?”

She was walking in the parking lot with her parents, talking and laughing. It had been an amazing day but now she was exhausted. She couldn’t wait to go home and go to bed for a few days. It was going to be weird to be in her old bedroom surrounded by Smiths posters and other accessories from her last year and a half of high school. But a part of her couldn’t wait. She didn’t want to stop walking. Emily wanted to get in the car and peel out of there like she stole something. 

“Emily, please wait.”

“It’s alright sweetheart.” Gregory said. “You chat and we’ll pull the car up.”

“Don’t stay too long.” Natalie said. “It’s chilly out here.”

“OK, thanks.”

As they walked away, Emily turned and looked at Aaron Hotchner.

“Hi.”

“You made me a promise.” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“You made me a promise.”

“A lot has happened; I don’t recall.”

“McDreamy.” He said.

She smirked. For the first time in an amount of time she couldn’t recall it wasn’t spiteful.

“The first day at the Academy, the day after we had sex in your car, Jordan asked me about the guy I’d been with. I told her I didn’t even know your name but recalled saying you were dreamy a few times during the encounter. She asked me if I was going to see McDreamy again. Obviously I believed the answer was no. The name stuck. That’s it.”

“You did call me dreamy.”

“I'm not going into the BAU.” She said. “Well, at least not immediately.”

“What about Interpol?” Hotch asked.

“How did you hear about that?”

“The FBI is huge but rumors get around.”

“I’ll get my assignment in ten to fourteen days like everyone else, Hotch. I don't know.” Emily shrugged.

“Just tell me.” he said. “Just tell me you feel nothing for me and I should go the hell away. If you can't do that then…”

“I can't do that.” she whispered. “You’ve got to let go though. This isn’t fair to either of us.”

“I can't do that. I want you to have dinner with me.”

“I just ate lunch.”

“Not now, but soon. We’ll have dinner and talk. Despite how good we are lying down, I miss talking to you the most. Forget about Haley and fraternization rules and the whole damn thing. We’ll be OK if we’re apart Emily; we’re strong and can handle it. But we’ll be extraordinary together. Of that I'm sure.”

“I'm not sure of anything right now.” she said.

“But you're sure you can't say you feel nothing.” He said.

“I feel cold. It’s freezing out here.”

Her parents honked the horn of their Jaguar. Emily turned to look and then turned back to Hotch.

“One dinner, anywhere you want.” He said. “I'm just asking for a chance.”

“You're asking for a second chance.”

“OK, I'm asking for a second chance.”

“Can you cook?”

“Sometimes.” He replied.

“My stepmother is an amazing cook. I'm sure she’ll have something going in the kitchen now that I'm home again and she can feed me. Maybe one night you can come over. We can talk.”

“That’s all I'm asking.”

Emily wrapped her arms around him and exhaled. Hotch held on tight. He didn’t want to let go but he knew deep down it wouldn’t be for long.

“Congratulations. I never got a chance to say it.”

“You'll get your chance, Aaron Hotchner. I have to go.”

Emily got into the car and they drove away. She looked back; he held up his hand to wave. She pressed her hand on the back glass. This was crazy, it was stupid. It was something she probably shouldn’t do. But the experience had been amazing. 

Why give it up because it was difficult? In the coming weeks she could be shipped out to God knows where and they’d be apart anyway. Emily didn’t necessarily believe in long distance relationships. But her heart ached for him. She was tired of her heart aching.

“Who was that, Em?” her father asked.

“Aaron Hotchner; he’s my friend.” She replied. “He taught me a lot over the past five months. I think I might return the favor.”

***


End file.
